Union not revolution

The archetypal depth of our race is deep

when we are split into two

with the eye of prejudice. 

And the dark power channels differences

through one part calling the downtrodden “other”

The darkness prepares for battle on the bulwark

thinking that a revolution will be 

Screeching with bloodshed

Bloodshed, yes! But it will be whispers of

“Union not revolution”

Where silent masses

Lay their heads on the executioner’s block

“We sacrifice in peace” 

the wraiths susurrate
“This is the way to oneness”

The true homage

There are a million eyes around me
And behind them is light
And focused light is painful to bear
And the delightful pain of this sight
Is overtaken by a chant of the sujood
Subhan e Rab Al Ala
And what is mine and what is not
As I forget to hear my share in the song
All I know is that all of it and more
The world, the skies, the souls
And beings that walk the path of rose
Should in devotion, breath and praise
Not a drop of that should go waste
For it belongs all to
The One Who Deserves All
And then my remorse is satisfied
That the universe is paying my due
of the homage which in my frailty
I cannot do!

The need

I have naught with me to sell in the shadow fair

My heart is valuable but only to me, 

what price can it get?

since trade is of a thing precious to both

Though hunger pangs force me to the market square

I too without this cursed need would desire not a shadow’s fare

The Sleepers of Ephesus

Do you know that the world is roiling in anger

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

Do you know prejudices are burning each other

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

Don't you hear that people don't care to live anymore

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

We have to do something to make this world a better place

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

Why do you not take opium instead, 

you will then have a reason to be senseless

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

You are useless. It is because of likes of you, this tyranny is

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

If not do anything, let your heart be soft at least! mourn! please!

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

Did the Beloved not order you to Struggle

Dearest did you mention the Beloved?

Yes, in Beloved's name move your sloth soul to action

Ah! Dear, if I were to listen to you and do something

I would only be doing to please you or 

Or to my tarnished image apply salve

So someone else can be called evil

Or I would be acting to protect my kin

Over another son of Adam

Or protecting my food and riches

To make another soul go hungry

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

So you look down on me, you think me unholy

That I am not in a slumber and trying to change

While our children drown helpless in seas

And are washed upon shores of indifference

Ah dear, I too have died and been violated

Again and again; each worse than before

Each misery is the cost of a feeling heart

But it is the dread of numbness that

Burdens me to your stated inaction

The will of my Beloved is to Be

It to be Loved is me

The perfection of Justice is as perfect

As every moment I breathe or not

I be or not, all is or not

How can I look down on a slave who moves

By His Breath and seeks to change the world

All I can say is that I hear the sighing winds

And when a raindrop with my name 

Comes forth out of the mountainous clouds

As a healing for parched land

Or flood for the flooded

I will play my part, jubilant ecstatic

At being re-membered, 

But till then 

Let it go dear, let it go

tell me some about The Beloved

An inconsistent inconsistence

I have a thirst unquenched by seven seas

And a hunger that cannot be sate 

Feeling naked under the thickest veil

And despite roving eyes, remain blind

I have learned enough to know me unlettered

And am blessed with wisdom to play a fool

Amidst these treasures, still a pauper

Alive, I walk and laugh pretending at death

Salaatahu Tasbeehahu

There is a beat of the universe which sings
Devotional hymns
And the symphony is of infinite notes
Of Salatahu, Tasbeehahu
Through all motion is love
a hummed emotion
And A-love wails too but in crackling sighs
When a sound breaks my lips, it mourns
It's very existence,
If it's birth is not in Your name
And the wave of all prostrations, a pitch
Of which my ears, the glories can not hear
So when every inch of my being is
Answering, resonating to unseen tones
The only way I bear the silent times
Is think it an orchestral tacet, a rest,
A mercy!
Wait, my dear, be patient, hearken
The refrain is about to come!

At the tavern

Your lovers gathered at the tavern tonight
I felt belonging and longing in their sight
Mayhap I felt the coldness of jealous claws
On meeting one enraptured in Your cause
Mayhap instead of love, the thorn in my heart,
In Your Psalm, moved me, to whirl my part.
I too got drunk and out staggered to claim
notice of passing people to praise Your Name
Did I want them to share the same bane I had felt
On Your mention when someone had lovingly dwelt
Or maybe in my ecstasy I tumbled could not see
When the color of beating passion ablaze be
Red I whirled, round and round too dizzy to know
Only You witness the fruits of my lyrical sow
and of the intention behind this gnawing doubt
I am a leaf in helpless rapture, blown about
I pray the wind takes me towards Your home
If not, Undone, I have but nowhere to roam.
It’s risky to eye the sun; the wind can take one either way
For stale blindness surely, for certain will
lead me astray!

Surah Hujraat

One of my peers wrote this out beautifully. This was a class project of an Arabic grammar class I was taking. This was our final class project. Sadly I only finished the project in my head but it definitely had a deep impact on me as this is a Surah of manners.

Here's the nine lessons from Surah Hujraat:

"When a glass is broken, the sound of breaking disappears immediately whereas the glass pieces are scattered over the ground hurting whoever walks over it".
Similarly, "when you say something that hurts people's emotions and feelings, the voice disappears immediately but the heart remains in pain for long."
Therefore, don't say anything except good and remember always the nine advises and prohibitions that Allah Almighty gave us in Suratul Hujraat (The Surah of Islamic manners) before you say something to anyone:

1.-فتبينوا:
"Fa Tabayyanu": Investigate: when you receive an information, lest you harm people out of ignorance.
2.-فأصلحوا:
"Fa Aslihu": Make settlement: between your brothers as believers are brothers.
3.-وأقسطوا:
"Wa Aqsitu": Act justly: whenever there is a dispute try for settlement and act justly among both parties as Allah loves those who act justly.
4.-لا يسخر:
"La Yaskhar": Don't ridicule people, perhaps they may be better than you to Allah.
5.-ولا تلمزوا:
"Wa La Talmizu": Don't insult one another.
6.-ولا تنابزوا:
"Wa La Tanabazu": Don't call each other with offensive nicknames.
7.-اجتنبو كثيرا من الظن:
"Ijtanibu Kathiiran min Aldhan": Avoid negative assumptions, indeed some of the assumptions are sins.
8.-ولا تجسسوا:
"Wa La Tajassasu": Don't spy on each other.
9.-ولا يغتب بعضكم بعضا:
"Wa La Yaghtab": Don't backbite each other. Its a major sin equivalent to eating your dead brother's flesh.

Lastly Allah said in the Qur'an "Remind, for the reminder benefits believers".

*May Allah continue to Bless and Guide us in all our affairs*.

Near death

I heard the birds have flown
and taken a part of me with them
Maybe that is why I am looking
at myself down there
Looking and staring at myself
Flying in the skies

Reflection of my shame

When the mirror looks, I try to
imagine what you see in me?

I, yearning fettered clay! shedding
tears to turn rivers in your sea
My skies are shades of your color
and thoughts merely twigs on your tree.
I care, no scare of prying eyes;
My blossoms on your breeze float free.
Deep in my heart I truly know
had care melted in ecstasy.
Wouldn't long to belong like I do
What merit my atomity
My beloved? If my breath craves
Inspirational humility!
#PersonalWritings

In the Asylum

I am made of the stuff of stars
Carbons, nitrogens, hydrogens, oxygens of the sun
Are assembled, broken down, re-assembled.
Neurotransmitters in my head.
All thoughts are born of a connection craved
Between the galactic divide of neurons exist
the pre and post synaptic howling of molecules
So when your thoughts knocks on my window pane
And I hear birds singing your nectarine name
When the rustling wind caresses the oak
And rose petals, loving dew drops cloak
Dopamine levels peak within my brain
Maybe some endorphins and oxytocin too
Make me feel your gaze and shed tears of joy
Of abandon; I fly your sky
Till your gaze finds me in my place
Grateful, ecstatic, paralyzed wanting more
But then tyrosine depleted or antipsychotics steal
the home, away, where pleasures park
And I am asked in the dark
"Is your love real?", "will you love me forever?"
And I reply, it is as real as the sun
But there is a matter not under my control
The extent of my love, is your concern
By my measures the rivers flood the banks
And tides break free of the moon
When you appear, mountains swoon
My Beloved!
My love you made as real as you. 

#PersonalWritings

the wings of my meditation

What started as a classification of stages of meditation as depicted by wing beats of birds, suddenly evolved into much more as I started playing around with capitalism... sorry I meant capitalization;)


#PersonalWritings

amidst chaos of time and abilities falling short
i decide on lighting candles for the present.
and on the threshold of stillness, ensconce
on the mother earth i ground my soul
with a measured breath.
the hummingbird amidst flowers, flits, hums
sampling nectars, never beholden to One.
and on the threshold of stillness, ensconce
on the mother earth i ground my soul
with a measured breath.
the eagle soaring in the blue, quietly it seeks
and in a flashing intent, it dives to its Desire
and on the threshold of stillness, ensconce
on the mother earth i ground my soul
with a measured breath.
the seagull motionless over limitless seas
content with Infinity, sustenance on the Wind
reality in abeyance drops away
and that appears what was till now absent
this uproar can also quiet convey
when the Present blesses my present

A gift in Houston

A fountain of light playing with
Water drops
Dancing with tinkling songs
But hear the stillness also.
It can be quieter still, yes.
But it is the quietest
and most blissful there
When the fountain rises to the skies
And the glory of your presence
Drowns the orchestral drums.

It is fated.

I am agitated, not yet sated
I still wanted to drink on your love
Ere you pulled away, abated
I have been pacing a colorless realm
Till I stopped before a withered tree
It stood steady, alone
above the ground
With roots joining
To a forest around
Howling winds had stripped its bark
But it was one of the many greens
That shaded itself, gave it time
To grow and heal, to feel
The care for its growing buds
And then it knew it was safe
To inflict another act of hate
I reached for you in that state
And killed you
I too died that day
And arise again I will
Only to realize that once again
I had Gone astray!

Mother's love.

I count the empty sands of this desert

As I send the rain waters your way

I seek milestones in this empty wild

This void heavies my step

I measure the world in your glance

I cast down my eyes

To the cup of your memories

And raise them to dream your dream

The night and myself remain awake

Else your thought might come

And find me asleep

I am an unblinking guardian

To your darkness

Life without you is echoes just

I live these eons of lonely winds

To have a whisper of my prayer

Be heard and come true;

Cradle you in its warmth

Lit for love

Our task is a candle lit for love

You now have the gift to change my world

Swirled clouds are flown by the wind 

And it is my wind that moves you

True, the happiest vessels cease

to care for its brim or it’s void

My light shines through your pores

How can you not want this want

You shudder when you call me forth

To embrace the cold I send you warmth 

If you could see what I see you would 

want to remain caught 

in my eyes forever

Entwined

In a trance

You became us and I too forgot

my name and yours.

I blinked and

You became you and I, me

I recognized you. 

 and you recognized me. 

Find your edge

In battle for survival, existential contemplation tends to make an appearance in a person's story. Sometimes this happens in the beginning as a recent life conflict is seen as in terms of existential concerns. Sometimes they make an appearance during remembrance of a time past. And at other times they present themselves as a source of strength.

The benefits of yoga on mood and anxiety states are immense. There are many hypotheses about what exactly helps in alleviation of symptoms. Instead of singling out one factor and replicating it in its isolation, an approach which is embracing multiple thoughts seems most beneficial. Having said that however, disentangling threads of mysteries to help our comprehension is an endeavor as old as humanity. There are many reasons advanced for why Yoga is so helpful. For example it might be increase in self awareness, physiological benefit of exercise, psychological benefit of achieving mastery, an interpersonal benefit of increasing social involvement, the nature of the postures, the somatic energy manipulation etc. Regardless, when I received the following, I was struck by the way this benefit of yoga was worded. Yoga in this letter is woven into a self defining story for an individual. Such stories, have power since they pass over from reality into something of mythical proportions.

"During our conversation, I was skeptical when you mentioned Yoga. You said that Yoga can be helpful in depression. At that time, I was depressed. Life did not make sense. Everything was out of control. I did not have the energy to do Yoga. A friend of mine urged me into it. So we decided to give it a shot, for three sessions. The first session was great. I remember when I was a child, I used to do these "tricks" with my cousins, like somersaults or cart wheels. I was happy then.

My instructor, Pam is great. She said that building core strength is important because it can give energy to us. The energy required to live our daily life. My core strength is pretty bad. I love pizzas! However Pam encouraged me to "find my edge" in my postures. I never understood her fully, till much later. She said that when my body told my mind that it was at the edge of exhaustion, my mind either agreed with that or did not. Mostly my mind agreed with my body and I would relax my posture. Pam encouraged me to try the other option, where my mind would reject what my body was telling it. She said focus on your breath. I did.

One day in a half moon pose, I reached my edge. My leg was cramped and my mind was focused on my leg. At that time, I put the thought of my leg out of my mind and started thinking and working on my inhalation. An exhalation followed automatically and I realized that all I had to do was to inhale. I then realized the funny feeling I was getting in my nose, as I inhaled. I wondered what that was. "Dryness? Let's see how I feel with another inhale". And suddenly I realized, I was in the posture and my leg was still hurting me, but instead of shouting out it's pain, my body was talking to me about it. I dropped my pose. I felt great. I felt on top of the world. Later on when I thought about it I realized that I felt great because I had not given up as I coasted past my limitations.

Over a period of time, I realized what Pam, meant about the core energy required for life. I started practicing breathing during the painful moments of my life, when my mind said that it could not take it anymore. My life had a lot of painful moments and I had to breathe a lot. As my yoga practice improved, my breathing practice improved, my resiliency practice improved and my practice at living life in painful moments improved. I started sleeping through the night knowing, that I could get through tomorrow. I knew I could hear my mind whisper suicidal suggestions to me and get through it. Practice makes difficult things easier. I have been practicing at life.

It is not yoga only that has helped me survive but it has been instrumental. I am still not free of dark moments, dark days or dark weeks. But I am free of dark months. And I have learned how to keep a light with me in dark times. And not hate myself for it. My next project is to become a Yoga instructor. Sincerely yours"

The Beggar

The strangest patchwork you wear
Ragged tramp as you trudge.
Furtive to discover, a garment,
that you never had when you slept
in the frozen night; till
you stopped shivering, and the cold
of the blizzard mattered no more.
You are warm now, with the sun,
Yet you still search,
to steel yourself,
from the fear of the cold;
And clothes after clothes you stuff
in the black bag you drag
You seek content from your fears
But you can become a beggar not
Till there is room in yourself
For the spirit to breeze through.

IQRA

Between an idea and the spoken word

is a gap that pretends non existance

Can be seen by the cataractous eye

which seeks light in the threatening black

Infinity measures by Planck's quanta

where momentum changes to inertia

The Strong Man of God, swoops down

and asks the Praiseworthy to say, "Iqra"