dreamstream grime

Poor Timmy (Ghoree na char saka balee char gaya)

2011-11-05T12:25:00.000-07:00

Timmy was playing in the field

with his mom in sight,

Grazing in the lush grass

he was a Big Timmy now

And little did the Big Timmy know

Half way across the world sat

a man with a penchant for his fat.

Money to be sent was sent and

Timmy's story reached the end

The Line

2011-11-04T17:20:00.000-07:00

My daughter one day stood on thedoorstep

with grave concerns on her mind.

Home inside, raging storm outside

and she decided her stand on the line

Half foot in front and half behind.

Not towing nor heeling it.

I stood like her on the line

and we talked about how birds flew inthe air

and how thunder also flew in theair.

Elements

2011-09-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

Bereft without a sail
Stiffling

Freshness of the wind yonder

Might change its course

The vessel demands not

but is besought

in its want to be filled

in measure of its guild

How became the traveller

betrodden by every step

'Tis strange to walk freer

Yet in yoke of the Ceph

Not yet have the embers

been proud of a blaze

Awaiting the Blacksmith

to sanction the raze!

Reassurance

2011-07-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

I will always be here for you.
How can that not be a lie
Why to be wrapped up
in questioning it.
Why not to take refuge
in the false melody.

The Wall

2011-05-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

My long lost friend, I yearn!
But with the rise and fall
of every sun and moon,
Taller grows the wall betwixt.
And now grow even flowers
on mossy stones of my side.
Eagle I am not to soar over,
Nor strong to bend the fate,
Nor whiskers possess I
to dig a way and try.
So I shall remain stuck,
till another chapter read.
Without a wall instead.

Ebb and flow

2011-05-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

Part I

This is the way of unknown citizens.
Step by step lead in to the marshes till,
Octantis behind and Polaris front.
A program created by the program.
Exhaustion in running smaller circles,
becomes nothingness, a canopy above.
What tent will hold these dark passions outside!
Among the loneliness of the marshes,
there are promises, running in thousands.
Of the only road to a salvation.
The only has to become their undoing

Part II

citizens known this is their way
step by step lead in to deserts sway
the sun fills the expanses gaunt
polaris behind octantis in front
inspiration running circles bigger and
becoming chaos an icarus above
in the blinding light wanting land
lost in a mirage evaporating love
there are promises, an explosive knowing
of freedoms lying in every grove
the plurality their undoing

Part III

This is the way of the unknown known.
Step forward, step back; The Breakers
which are sea but are truly landgrown
Stars sleep but not for the wakers
Their intention remains the seed sown
Steady, expanding and contracting
Diving deep beneath and soaring high
Dusk and dawn merging, separating
Promises yield to their inward sigh
And they roam the roads decorating
celebrating and silent.

Pendulum

2011-01-02T09:54:00.000-08:00

I am a pendulum that swings on the pit of degenerative humanity
I define the emotional concept and the rational feeling
I swing between extremes of God and A-God
And at each extreme missing the other one
The longing becomes my motion

This is a poem that I pulled out of my long non shared stuff after I came across Schopenhauer's "Boredom is just the reverse side of fascination: both depend on being outside rather than inside a situation, and one leads to the other."

Translation of Iqbal's dialogue between Gabriel and Iblis

2011-01-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

Gabriel:
O my long lost friend; how goes your world of smells and sights
Iblis:
Inflamed wails, painful reminders and passioned flights
Gabriel:
At all times your mention remains in heavenly skies
Is it not possible to patch work your moral guise
Iblis:
Alas Gabriel, aware you are not of this mystere
Headiness came when my chalice was a broken ware
No long is my existence here a possibility
How sterile is this world in its predictability
The notes of whose universe are ruled by the hope's bent
Which virtue does he deserve, "content or malcontent"
Gabriel:
Your denial has cast you out from the highest place
Infront of Him you have caused every angel's disgrace
Iblis:
My daring is why this fistful of clay does create
Beseiged by my temptations, all intellects break
on the shore, spectator to the wars of virtue
Who is embracing the sea's stormy slaps, me or you
Where Khizr is helpless, Ilyas in that state is tore
My storms roam land by land, sea by sea and shore by shore
If you ever meet Allah in a secretive state
Ask Him "whose blood has decorated Adam's fate"
I belong deep in His heart; a thorn I hurt Him too
You merely chant "Allah Hoo, Allah Hoo, Allah Hoo"

Kaana (Blindness) syndrome in Pakistan

2010-09-12T15:20:00.000-07:00

Jose Saramago's blindness is a beautiful book. It describes the conversion of an entire town in to blind people as a result of an epidemic. It is beautifully metaphorical for the current situation in Pakistan. It is unfortunately not limited to Pakistan. In the interest of reductionism, I will generalize about this blindness and posit that it is a function of the constant operator. With the basic definition of constant operator being repetition of the same function over and over again without yielding any new results but rather a constant reshuffle of the same factors in an attempt to create new combinations which are limited by the confines of the system. This happens to be the very definition of extremism. Fundamentalism is the result of this constant operator gone wild and taking over. It is limited by a construct which is believed to the exclusion of all other realities and needs to escalate in order provide previous levels of yields or satisfaction. Hence, the erratic behaviors in fundamentalism.

In time lines of a unit (be it a civilization, culture, city, neighborhood or family), the rise and fall is dependent of this very constant and transitional operator. It is only the transitional operator that can renew a unit. In the case of SE Asia, during the independence from the Raj, there were several transitional ideas and inspirational ideas. Over the period of time however the state of affairs has transformed into fundamentalism because of the above stated dynamics.

A friend of mine described a term to me yesterday called "full metal jacket". Apparently this is a condition in which heart coronaries have been stented so many times over and over again that a bypass cannot be accomplished. Nothing can be done to open up the arteries if they are blocked once they are in the grips of repeated stenting. A society in the grips of the constant operator is much like this metal heart. In this situation the only possibility of a new life is a new heart.

In Pakistan to survive a person has to function within the confines of a rigid system which caters only about yields (and its survival) and in the grips of the constant operator humanity of an individual or the inspiration of life is sacrificed. Every individual or every organization (on whatever scale we are talking about) dries out if it does not have the chance to experience the transitional operator (inspiration). The spring dries out without new rains!

If cheating is the only way to survive in a society (life has to go on by hook or crook), everyone carries around with them a profound sense of guilt. This guilt is the gift of the constant operator. A guilty person is a scarred person, a victim of the constant operator. It is a person who cannot stand for what one believes in. It is a person who can live life only listening to the "badness" within oneself or others rather than rejoicing in the "goodness". This scarred person becomes the mouthpiece of the system and can only talk in terms of duality (rejection in the group or acceptance in the group). It is a person who will never be able to bring a revolution and that is how the constant operator survives revolt. (Look at the french revolution for examples for a range of constant operators and the rise of transitional operators. Look at the russian revolution. Look at USA).

But life has to go on. There shall come a time that blindness cannot go on any longer and then there is no choice but regeneration. It has to start with identifying the constraints in a system, recognizing life giving things and developing the ability for individuals and society to be able to tell the difference in them. Opening to the oasis and closing to the desert. The guilt has to go! The Kaana syndrome has to end. I started this post by Jose Saramago and I will end it with mentioning his sequel book, Seeing which encapsulates the life ending and life giving nature of a world that we inhabit.

Poets and critics (Another example of the operators)

2010-09-11T15:14:00.000-07:00

I have had the strange fortune of having gone through Nietzsche superman and Chesterton's Orthodoxy one after the other. That has left me knocked around the old badminton court like a shuttle cock. On one side the manic "disturbed" gentleman and on the other hand, a guy who criticizes mania or madness in the most beautiful terms. A person is headed for disaster and blindness if he believes in himself too much one one hand and on the other hand a person who did head for disaster and blindness with periods of lucidity.

Nietzsche apparently spent months wandering around not writing anything and then in 10 days would compose one third of "thus spake Zarathustra". His writing while inspired at times is "trying to reach" at others. Often he takes the solace of what he is NOT trying to describe rather than what he is describing. This echoes with the truth which cannot be said by the sufis or mystics. It is not Nietzsche who made his writings famous. Yes he believes in them to the exclusion of all else. It was other people who saw an idea that echoed with their own selves that took up the cause and that resulted in an ideology for a nation. The ideology was the product of a thinking mind, countless critics, philosophers who expounded on the genius of a person's statements. I guess there are numerous examples how an ideology proposed by someone is then carried in to practice by the rationality of the practical people.

I would like to point out that the ideology was not a package that was given wholly, it was developed. Among the ranting and ravings of the ideology expounded exist a lot of things that would not be too inspiring or would even be contradictory to the original ideas.

Chesterton puts it elegantly when he says that the poets themselves did not lead as troubled a life as the critics that thought about their works. It actually made me think about "great musicians" that become the voice of a generations. Beatles, Pink Floyd etc etc. In the creation of their ideology exists the same redundancy of materials. The same can be said of poets like Iqbal, Rumi or Khalil Gibran. There is redundancy in them all. All inspiration is victim to the muse. The muse is an inescapable phenomenon to rationality. The elegance of a dancer during one move can be studied under graphics and reproduced by another but the inspired dancer never thought about that particular move when attempting to execute that in that particular time or rhythm.

Another aspect of this is something that arists frequently face. They see conflict within themselves and they see the opposing currents that drive their art. Thinking destroys their art. At the spur of creation the thoughts are dead. To give an example any old work of an artist may be different from subsequent works. And it is common knowledge that a person's most moving works might not end up in the full bloom of their artistic life. Art at a particular moment when being expounded cares not for the form that it is going to survive in.

Chesterton, I believe is no stranger to this when he acknowledges his critics for calling him flippant. He does attempt though to answer his critics in their own language and in the attempt endangering his own sanity by trespassing a terrain which has been set up by his critics rather than himself. An artist will meet desolation and dryness if he ventures out of his element. The language of the inspired can only survive in its own element.

The thinking mind gave us science. And yes science is worlds apart from the art. Science survives and is responsible for the survival of art also. Art on its own is like sunlight. It is there but has to have a medium to illuminate.

The thinking mind in other words is the constant operator. The inspiration is the transitional operator. Life of the inspiration in the world is the fundamental operator.

I give you an example of a person trying to woo someone. Yes there is a person who would go around planning things, lets say a dinner, to the exact details. The timing of when particular things would be said and etc etc etc. And yes there is the person who would be open to whatever comes, comes and would take it in stride believing that inspiration and the genuineness of feelings would conquer all. Which approach is better and which would yield better results? The former approach would be an example of isolated will which seldom leads to happiness. Search a barren ground and dig till you find water. If success is not met, try harder. The latter approach is an approach that will be a hit or miss. It will not be able to hold up to the rigors of courtship without some sort of a forethought going in to it. One is the constant operator and the other the transitional operator. The combination of the two in a harmonious blend is the fundamental operator.

Treatment Resistant Depression- case example and implications

2010-05-15T16:52:00.000-07:00

The connotations of TRD are truly mind boggling when one takes a minute and thinks about it. Yes there is the TRD which is seen in some patients with maladaptive personality dynamics and then there is TRD which is people with good adaptive skills. On one side of the swing if there is no way to determine what another person is going through and there is no way of quantifying misery and depression then we are in the danger of not giving enough credence to a condition that we cannot imagine. Take the phenomenon of fibromyalgia. However there is the other side also to which the swing tends to go. Calling a mood state TRD medicalizes the whole interaction in to a disease like diabetes. Medicalizing the field of psychiatry which has its basis in biopsychosocial etiology risks neglecting the psychosocial aspects. Yes, a psychiatrist who is doing 15 minute medication check will definitely tend to benefit from it, as is illustrated in the following example but whatever semblance of a connection that is built in these visits will be on a faulty premise of being in cahoots with the patient's selective inattention (like Harry Stack Sullivan points out). The only playing field and the opportunity of intervention then left is in the same vein as the reason why such a restriction in physician patient interaction exists. It exists because there is a need for efficiency. It exists because of the devaluation of the physician patient interaction to the business model. A business model that take the same thing and repeats itself over and over again without having the ability in it for any play to cater for the uniqueness of the patient. Winnicott's rising to the challenge of the case is not killed only but defiled when using the term treatment resistant depression.
Here is a case example. Ofcourse a lot of the case is fictional but reflects actual clinical material garnered from actual patient interactions.

45 year old lady who was seen for the first visit for depression. She had already tried multiple medications before including ECTs and came in for an evaluation of TRD. Some other physician had been kind enough to give her the handle and an image of how to present herself to other physicians. She signaled challenge and she signalled hopelessness. She has been doing an excellent job at trying to do all the normal things that "normal people" do. She dresses well, she has the average life that an average doctor would have. She was the epitomy of average-ness. She has a job. She has everything that will NOT raise the flags to maladaptive personality dynamics. She is a seasoned patient who has learnt how to interact with the medical system and whether she knows it or not she is going to be very genuine in this role. I asked ofcourse for all the records in her case. In the next visit, I was dutifully given access to a huge file of all the treatments she had tried. I spent two hours on a weekend making a list of all the medication combinations she had been on and the time lines of various treatments by this excellent physician who had retired and had bequeathed this lady in my care. She started on antidepressants, ofcourse the SSRIs. She went through all of them without response to depressive symptoms and then she went through the SNRIs and after that she turned to tricyclics and then various combinations including the california cocktail and then with all of them add in ECT and then along with ECT mood stabilizers and then atypicals and then two different times of taper of the medications and MAOIs. Then of course were the multiple dietary aids including fish oil, deplin, vitamin D. And to top it off there were analeptics and Modafinil and some talk about Cannibinoids which I do not think ever happened.
This was clearly a textbook of how psychiatry is practiced in 15 minute med checks. The things keep on increasing and increasing. This woman had seen the psychiatrist for 20 years. Either it was the connection to the psychiatrist or her protective factors that she was alive. She of course has always had a therapist and when I made contact with her, she talked about how much progress she had made in therapy over the years. The only progress I could see was that she had learnt the system and gotten used to her suffering identity.
I contemplated on what I was going to tell her in the next visit. Should I continue this game of changing medications. Would she come back if I told her that hope for a cure is impossible.
Anyways after one year of seeing her she has had one crises and I feel it was to test me, but she remains depressed and is still waiting for the magic cure. I continue covering the same grounds with her as before. She knows it but she also knows that this is the limitations of the system that is close ended. Lately I have been trying to steer her away from VNS and DBS but who knows maybe that is where things will go.
Here is when I ask myself if things could have been different when she was 25. Maybe, maybe not. I do not know and she does not know. I spend 15 minutes with her and she spends 15 minutes with me every 4 weeks and she is not content and I am not content. Would 45 minutes with her leave her more content and would it leave me more content or would it be the reverse.

As Pink Floyd says "running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears."

Alice in Wonderland; the second example of the importance of defending what is valuable

2010-03-19T21:43:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. It brings to mind the genius of Lewis Carroll. One of the many writers who have been saying the same thing all along. It would almost seem pretty straight forward that the message that we get is repeated so oft, yet we fail to get it. We realize it though. That is what makes "moving" works of art so moving. They are not stationary in one dimension but move across the dimension of static repetition to the dimension of continuous renewal. The movie opens up with the tedious world of the constant operator. Status for the sake of status (blind hoarding with the only purpose is to grow larger and larger). Alice is apparently a girl that fails to adjust to this world. Is the world abnormal or is Alice abnormal. A psychiatrist in that world would most likely have treated Alice with antipsychotics. Because she tends to be overrun by the many forces in this world that are not in her control. Alice finds herself in to the world underground. This world is threatened to be over run with the red queen which is the same thing as what was happening in the world above her. The mad hatter, the march hare, the white queen hardly seem "fit" companions for any proper child in this world. That is the disdain of transitional things that are taught to us by all the gang systems. Imagine if Alice's wannabe fiance, would have visited this world. He would have tried to get the same comfortable constancy in to this transitional world. He would have most probably sided with the red queen.

The true genius of Lewis Carroll however is not exposing the corruption of the constant operator but the dangers of the transitional operator.

Many other authors have exposed the constant operator time and time again without much difficulty. You build a plot long enough till it truly begins to grow and it will start becoming monotonous and we will feel it and call it so. We will use the words boring and repetitious, exactly what the constant operator is about. Sartre in Nausea does an excellent job of converting this triteness in to an art. What the dangers of the transitional operator are shown by the two rivaling factions of the underworld. The red queen is the reflection of the world Alice has left behind. And in her "dream" she comes to realize the vulnerability of the all that is refreshing. The transitional operator (typified by the white queen) is basically helpless against the attack of the red queen. Conquering and wars are not the function of the transitional operator. Every moment is new for the transitional operator. For the compatriots of the white queen, everybody is living in the moment. The ideal senselessness is present in the tea party. Nobody knows the time, nobody cares about guests, it is a free for all, party time for everyone. That is the danger of the transitional operator. It will not get things done. It can give an excellent good feeling but when you need things to be fair and orderly, only Alice can make things right by using her "muchness" (which is a very constant operator terminology). Only by the muchness can she save the transitional denizens of her dream world and save herself in the onslaught of all things constant in her real world. Her ability to demonstrate her ability to go downstream to the battle and upstream to enjoy her friends is the fundamental operator.

What she learns in her dream is what her fundamental strategy to gain control over her real world is. Usually that is what the reorientation function of dreams.

The caterpillar is the sage which travels both worlds in different shapes that are most conducive to the time. It knows the secrets of dying and being reborn. It also knows the secret of what should be defended and how.

Prayers, bridge and the water flow

2010-03-07T18:51:00.000-08:00

The First example of The Three Operators Necessary in the Phase Space of Captivity and Deliverance.

The constant chant of the world behind

and beckoning laps of the river below

The jump into oblivion grips the mind

yet there is joy in this miserable flow

Is it joy at the possibility of escape

or is it the joy of waking up anew

The want to die is now a loyal friend

This lightness is a stranger though

Yes it is true that one act will end "all"

Will not one act begin "all" also

"All" is an "act" with repeating players

Prayers, bridge and the water flow

Religion saves the day

2010-02-23T19:16:00.000-08:00

After my last post, I found out that there was some confusin about the top down orientation vs the bottom up orientation. Let us analyze religion as an insitution.
What is it in religion that deals with top down orientation? Answer is very simple. It is an hierarchy that is built with God up there and then his messengers and among them also is an hierarchical system. Some sects actually bring in the several Imams also and then wise men. And to make matters worse, among the Momineen, there are people who are better because they are Muttaqi. Quran also puts down an excellent system for the believers and which one is "better" than the other. The poor Sahaba were stuck in a race of who gets more Sabqat so they could be more near God. This is a classic example of the constant operator. An operator that operates blindly and when applied blindly ends up in the fanatic movements that are plaguing Islam for the present (because it is in the limelight), but other religions also. There is no end to how constricted this top down system can become and the gains from this repetitious activity are lesser and lesser. In the end you get a zealot who calls himself the Jihadi.
The constant operator is fairly terrified of the transitional operator. Whereas the constant operator is a matter of repetition of the same things over and over again (five times a day of the Namaz, 3 times of reciting verses, the set Raqats, the tasbeeh's million for special wishes) are fairly constant and bear a close resembling to almost an Obsessive Compulsive behavior on part of an individual. I have yet to come across this in a clinical scenario but I can just see how a person in the right cultural environment would manifest his OCD as strict adherance to these routines. Needless to say what you end up in is a very static dirty pool of water.
The transitional operator deals with a bottom up orientation. In religion the transitional operator deals with the inner impulses of man. It is really very difficult for religions to cater for the human impulses and Islam has given its propisition just like other religions have given their propositions. Human impulses start from a creative idea and then expand based on an inner impulse. Creativity, Indulgence in pleasurable activities are transitional activities that have been classified as sin by the constant operator in religion. These are frivolous activities that have been sanctioned by the hard liners of any religion. Music is haram, art until and unless in prescripted forms is haram.
Now the question arises how is it that religion saves the day. Having faith in a higher power is helpful. But beyond that religion is a double edged sword. One one hand whereas people can get stuck in the constant operator, like a few friends who only listen to Naats in the car, so they can enjoy music which is holly. The other scenario is where religion itself becomes a defense against its constant operator. The dreams and aspirations of a person that one asks for from a higher power are very transitional nature and religion in its true nature imbues a believer with the power to protect his/her freshness and hope by using the constant operator of prescribed practices.
Let me introduce the fundamental operator now. It is the operator that ties the knot between the two above described operators. This fundamental operator is the ability to walk the middle line in things. Mianarawi. On one hand is the danger of being sucked in to the regimented pointless pursuits and on the other hand is the total lawlessness of whims and impulses. Whims and impulses are gratifying but usually end up leading to misery because they are quite unprotected from the harsh world of the constant operator.
That is the difference between fundos that are intent on lighting themselves on fire with explosive attached to their underwear and religious people who find strength to go on in life, from believing in a god head. A true person that walks the path of the fundamental operator will be involved in the constant operator of things but will use the constant operator to protect his or her inner impulses. The true freshness of things remains in the transitional operator. That is what makes a person move forwards in life, dreams and goals.
Bills this article was written for you. I know you walk the line of the fundamental operator. Sufo do not get sucked in to the world of constant operators:)

Why do people stop writing in their blogs

2010-02-19T19:24:00.000-08:00

Usually people start blogs because of a inner impulse to share. It is something new and like all new things tends to arise as an aspiration within oneself. There are grand dreams and expectations that come in hand in hand with having a baby (or starting a blog). Please see previous post of definitions as this is what a transitional operator is. It starts off as a new idea and for it to find sustainance in this world, it has to learn how to live in the world of the constant operator. The dynamic that will always repeat itself over and over again. The people who function in a world ruled by the constant operator think in terms of constant operators. Excellence, not being good enough, guilt are all terminologies of the constant operator. All these terminologies are primarily based on not being able to perform the same task over and over again in the "best possible way". A machine is perfect till it wears down because it performs the same task over and over again, day in and day out. Anything that cannot perform the same function has no place in the system and is marked for being taken down.

Take academics for instance, like Sufo has to perform the same academic demands day in and day out. There is the hierarchy of grades and there is the hierarchy of academic rank and there is the hierarchy of promised dreams. That leaves a student like Sufo really dryed up. Every day is the same thing of trying to catch up and be "good enough". Such an atmosphere is extremely stiffling, "as in the tornado rings getting smaller and smaller from top down". It is constricting. How is it possible that a creative endeavour can arise when a person is captured in such massive forces.

Every blog is destined to be captured by the top down hierarchy until and unless the blog follows the principle of defending its creativity and uniqueness. For the constant operator the defense is only in the constant operator. A blog can only survive in the world of "same things repeating over and over again" by adopting the same principle of "repeating the same thing over and over again". That repetition of the same thing over and over again becomes a defense for the author of the blog. It is mindless and is something that can be produced at a minute's notice, especially when the mind of the author is plagued by the myriad quandaries of the top down system he or she has to function in.

How a blog can retain its creativity amidst such repetition is another question with a very similar answer as above.

Definitions

2010-02-19T18:54:00.000-08:00

Constant operator- The dynamic which repeats itself over and over again. The yields are lesser and lesser as time goes on.

Transitional operator- The dynamic which starts afresh at every turn. The yields grow bigger and bigger as time goes on.

Imagine a funnel or a tornado. In one instance when you go from top to bottom you have the perfect example of the constant operator. When you go the other way from bottom up, you have the transitional operator. All dynamics follow these two operators.

It is the fundamental operator that forms a bridge between these two operators and balances things.

Me, me, me, me

2010-01-01T16:42:00.000-08:00

So here is the new post from my brother who was gracious enough to paint me in the colors he chose. He felt that he had to paint the depression he felt when in my world. I hope he was being facetious:)

http://headbump.blogspot.com/2009/11/man-i-know.html

Love you too Hamz. Thank you for the advertisement.

O(c) Disorder

2009-11-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

The constant operator is the perfect example of the thing that repeats itself over and over again. It sucks the life out of any natural life giving processes. Does it sound like OCD. It is kind of weird that I discovered this link between how OCD is actually an illness of the constant operator. For a detailed description of the constant operator and the transitional operator and the fundamental operator, either see Dr Gustafson's work or I will allude to it in further posts.

Here is how the equation works out so far:

OCD=Obsessive compulsive disorder= O(c)D= Disorder of the constant operator.

The fractal of basal ganglia

2009-11-15T14:36:00.000-08:00

The Basal Ganglia can have two parallel circuits which run in conjunction with each other. Motor activity is dependant on the balance between these circuits. One is the venteromedial group of nuclei which have a large input from the limbic cortex. The other group is the dorsolaterlal group of nuclei which have their major input from the frontal lobe. The names of these two groups of nuclei are quite illustrative based on the framework one would want to differentiate them on. In an evolutionary framework, the venteromedial is earlier in development compared to the dorsolateral. Hence its functions are more “primitive” and “less sophisticated” than the dorsolateral counterpart. The dorsolateral pathways can manage inhibition of behaviors as well as activation of behaviors. The venteromedial pathways only manage disinhibiting behaviors. In terms of position also it resides “inwards” compared to the more “outwards” position of the dorsolateral structures. The venteromedial deals more with the inner feelings, hence the connections from the limbic system while the dorsolateral deals with the outer realm of things.
In Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, the venteromedial system is over-activated and an increase in disinhibition can result. This is typified by the disinhibited patterns on behaviors which are termed as compulsions. They can range from counting, checking, hoarding or cleaning. It is a hypothesis that behavioral therapy strengthens the dorsolateral pathways, especially the part which is able to inhibit behaviors.

The dynamics of a person with OCD revolve around behaviors which are dysfunctional. Dysfunction means that the behaviors do not help an individual adapt to the external reality. All behaviors are being driven by the limbic system, or the internal cues. The example is of an autistic child who tries to answer everything in his or her framework. Evolutionary it serves a function of shutting of the “thinking mind” in dangerous situations and the result is an uncontrolled motor activity which is avoidant. The dysfunction comes when this behavior goes on without any danger present in the external environment. Think of a deer that runs regardless of whether it is facing a predator or green pastures.

The balance problem with these structures represents a fractal and this fractal at different level points to a similar dysfunction seen in psychiatric patients. The psychiatric patient engages in similar dysfunctional behaviors in its interaction with other people. There is a reason why Freud called it symptom compulsion. Dr Gustafson has called it the mismatch between the internal and the external world. Think of the system that has figured out how to make profits. Every thing which is not a loss is a profit and since profit is better, all activity will be utilized to get profit. Anything that is not profit is not an activity to be engaged in. The pack will continue to increase to the point of dysfunction.

In an alternative view the venteromedial system could represent the channeling of id. Not all of those behaviors are functional in nature and it requires the functioning of a counterbalance of superego (dorsolateral) system when to inhibit behaviors, control impulses or engage in increased activity in the service of adaptation.

Mature defenses like suppression, humor, sublimation, altruism and asceticism all involve the ability to suppress the internal urges to an extent. However a couple of them like humor, sublimation and altruism actually involve behavior which is adaptable based on the cues of the environment.

However when thinking about this a certain flexibility is required. Implementation of a prefect solution no matter how elegant will run in to failure (and the be the perfect example of the basal ganglia in OCD) the moment consciousness to the uniqueness of a situation is disregarded.

Caution in use of antidepressants

2009-09-08T17:33:00.001-07:00

In thinking about this article, I saw an interesting link which I thought I would share with you.

Dr Gutafson has always posited that there is an internal and an external world which is controlled by various phenomenon. A balance between the two worlds being the key to protect the inner child from the “harsh world” (Self Delight in a Harsh World, Gustafson).

In the modern megalomanic world where the laws of increased pack drive us, human beings become mere part of a machinery. The machinery of culture, the machinery of capitalism, the machinery of religion. Every thing is a machine in our current state of existing collective consciousness (Jung collective consciousness).

With that being the state, in the external world exist representations of our inner feelings. Language is mated with the non verbal (Balint The Basic Fault). Expressions from inside are morphed in to what influences us from outside and vice versa. Hence the definition of happiness or depression is very easily influenced by current trends. The current trend being the machine state that we talked about us, similarly defines the definition of happiness and depression. A person who is not productive enough to survive the machine state of things tends to drop out and hence is depressed (Basic dynamics of Psychiatry, Gustafson).

It is true, that depression also comes in many shapes and sizes depending on innumerable factors. In certain cases the sense of negative introspection prevails and one wonders about thanatos. In other cases the role of depression as an adaptive trait is very protective, though maybe anguished.

The change in a system should only come after great deliberation as is often pointed out. There is a lot of energy conversion that goes in to changing the static to the dynamic. Changing depression which is static to something dynamic is desirable in many cases but can be fatal in some. A classic example of lethality is what so many manic people inflict on themselves and others.

Do drugs switch people's moods. There is a debate about that in the scientific world with arguments on both sides. Can an SSRI be given safely to every person. Experience with general population though, would indicate otherwise. There are places where an antidepressant is helpful, there are places in which it is not helpful. There are studies which indicate adverse effects in some people. Activation or switching being one of the side effects. Every case of switching is unique and tends to express itself uniquely. It is sometimes really difficult to catch these cases until and unless they become really severe and consequences are “more” disastorous. In children parents usually notice earlier and take them off the medications. In adults though, things can become complicated, if social support structures are not there.

So is an SSRI the best thing out there for depression? Yes, it might be, to be able to give the boon of “functioning as a cog in the machinery”. And sometimes that is the answer that a psychiatrist should give. But sometimes it is not and it is equally useful to use a host of other treatments, that mental health professionals should be trained in.

0.5 board certified

2009-08-21T11:23:00.000-07:00

There is a story that goes about this man who wanted to learn horse riding. This man wanted to find the best teacher for teaching him how to ride and after asking about him, he found out that there was a master of riding far away who lived alone. He sought him out and asked the master to make him the best rider in the world. The master refused to teach him because of his old age. At the request of our curious young man, though, he agreed to ride a horse for him once. The man wanted to see what was so special about the master's style of riding. The master rode the horse to a sand dune and rode back to where the man was standing. The man was surprised and remarked that even he could ride a horse like that. There was nothing special in the way he rode. What made him a master? The master tiredly asked him to look at the hoof prints in the sand and took his leave from the man. The man son taking a closer look found out that instead of hoof prints in the sand, there were circles. The master had rode away and back in such a way that the two sets of hoof prints made a circle.

This story talks about what a master is and how a true master is not willing to take on a pupil, until and unless the pupil is sharp enough to recognize a master. When the student is ready the teacher shall appear! Through the eyes of the pupil can a novice master learn himself. Rumi took three or four different companions. After Shams they were younger and lacked the fire he had shared with Shams Tabrez. The novice master had recognized himself and had "graduated" or become board certified.

This story also puts to question the two different styles of teaching. Lewis Hyde would like to describe true training as a gift that is imparted from a teacher to a student. It incurs a debt that only re gifting will settle. Compared to that the process of board certification does feel very capitalistic exchange. Pay money show you are worth it to an institutional standard. It removes the personal level of training that and makes it in to a machine.

Truly lucky is a person that can find a master to guide his way. Rumi says something to the effect that a moment in the company of Friends is worth years of solitude.

Another point that the story highlights is the true quest of excellence in anything is a journey with no sign posts at the end which tell one that he or she is there. It is only after the gift is passed on can a person realize through the eyes of the student about his compass bearings in the uncertain wilderness of solitary expeditions for excellence.

Only a teacher can fail someone. No one else.

Hallucinations

2009-07-17T21:36:00.000-07:00

There have been faces in the windows
Motioning when the light glances the glass
The wind has been whispering in the willows
And people appearing in wood cracks
They carve messages with my name after "dear"
They signal, hoping that I will hear
Hoping that I will see, but alas, I have been sane!
I obsess to keep my glass filled to the brim
And caught up in this never ending bane
of sipping and refilling; I have forgotten my verse
I have forgotten want, I have forgotten my thirst
All this was told to me last night by morse code
Which the rain beat up as it splat on the road
The force talks in its own tongue
But only the beggar with the empty bowl
May feel the glory of the harmonies sung

Chup

2009-07-13T18:39:00.000-07:00

Creativity exists as much in the content of the world as in the non content of the world. No picture is complete without emphasis on the details of light as of the dark. Colors are as important as shadows. No symphony similarly is complete without the concept of beats. Beats is nothing but the intermingling of music or tone with non music or non tone. An aspiring artist seeks out with a begging bowl. He or she begs the universe of matter as much as of the non matter. In the pop culture influenced by matter we tend to forget the emptiness that is required in the creative process of the art.
It is not something that is consciously attained. Emptiness is a gift as much as the creative mold is a gift. It was a privilege that I heard the album of Zeb and Haniya. Chup I think typified their style. A song that talks about silence. The music is as comfortable with silence as it is with the content of the song. It is no slight wonder that the smile of the song is in its silence and guess work.

Silence happens to be the title of their album.

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Now playing: Zeb & Haniya - Chup (PakHeaven.Com)
via FoxyTunes

Red shoes

2009-07-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

In English curriculum of high school there used to be a story called the Red shoes which when worn gave the little proud girl incessant motion. The motion itself was static and tiring for the proud girl and she soon finds herself unable to stop, getting exhausted and regretting her pride, that caused her to wear the accursed shoes in the first place.
All of us from time to time don the red shoes and then unable to stop are carried away. The shoes move on their own accord and soon one is exhausted yet unable to stop. The dancing itself takes a life of its own.
The key to taking the shoes off is what a lot of people talk about including Gustafson and all of his predecessors of psychological/philosophical investigators. I guess the unspoken assumption of all work is developing an insight. An insight can be termed as an integration of non verbal in to the domain of verbal. Something that can be manipulated with words and organized in logos.
(logos meaning the rational mind that assumes things on the basis of differentiating). This would be in contrast to non verbal where all exists in eros or in a state of creativity and organization according to all inclusiveness. (Lewis Hyde)
Taking off the red shoes according to eros is something that a lot of people try. The people who stumble through life with the faith in their own capabilities and knowing that they might have to dance a long while before they feel like taking off the shoes themselves without having to dissect their personalities. Unfortunately, some succeed and some get destroyed.
The red shoes are dangerous things!!!!

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Now playing: Zeb & Haniya - Chup (PakHeaven.Com)
via FoxyTunes

Blindness cured

2009-06-19T23:21:00.001-07:00

Filling out the dreams with pieces of reality
To stand in front of the mirrored mentality

A bucket in hand and a placard held high
Drop a coin of love, fool me with your lie

The fear of change clutches at the throat
Wade the fire river, in a bottomless boat

Fireflies are memories only of the light
The blind cannot be shown this delight

The lord touches the leper and behold
Initselfness dies; so the legend is told

Repeat molecules line up on void's shelf
The nature of the beast is to kill the self

A drop of water on an arid soil, filled with grace
A green birth has its own time has its own place

A Jungian perspective of the Pakistan political situation

2009-05-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

Planning to write this article, I googled the words, “Pakistan dream”. The hits that came back seem very appropriate to the content of this article as well as the point of view it attempts to convey. Two articles jumped out from the screen, “Pakistan, a dream gone sour” and “Pakistan: Dream deferred or denied”. Granted, I had chosen dreams as a parameter for my search, since this article is an attempt to understand the present reality of the situation in the context of Jung's work on dreams. But, a deeper look at the two topics that “jumped out at me”, would reveal a fractal of the current situation. Both reflect an impending catastrophe which threaten to engulf the homeland and question its very existence.

I would like to point out a trend that is steeped in antiquity. The “end of the world”, doomsday, Aakhrat is nothing new. It merely is the projection of a threatened man. Dating back to the pre historic mankind, the doom of the world has been foretold again and again. The caveman projected this fear of “the end” to the elements of nature and the modern man finds an alternative target for its excrement.

In freudian terms, projection is equivalent to smearing another person with one's refuse. The basic dynamic of projection involves denial of an unacceptable impulse in one's self and attributing that impulse to another person. Jung believed that all political conflict stemmed from this. When a neighbor is perceived to be plotting and scheming, it is actually the reflection of a person's own impulses that are not acceptable and hence are projected on the neighbor. Neighbors usually do not take to the smearing process kindly and hence a bilateral projection begins which turns in to a vicious cycle. An example would be the fight against terror.

To return to the topic of extinction, man is terrified of it's own propensity to destroy. Hence a projection on whatever is psychologically convenient, will ensue. Elements, Shaitan, Kafirs, Aliens everything is game. Jung pointed out that recurring themes of similar thoughts, are usually an indication of an archetype at play. These archetypes are living ideas which have been present in man since the advent of consciousness. Because these archetypes predate language, they speak in the language of symbols. They continue to dwell in the collective unconsciousness of the human race. This collective unconsciousness speaks to every human being. Even though modern man tends to discard the “useless unconscious”, it continues to exert a phenomenal hold over our everyday activities. Only an individual with an incompletely developed nervous system, that is a baby, can believe that reality ceases to exist once it closes its eyes.

There are innumerable examples in history where Man has “lost control”. Group influences take over. And if you would like to consider a step above that, the archetypes take over. It is no laughing matter when a soldier is ready to sacrifice his life for the country. The unconscious is at play again. Similarly the protagonist of our drama, the suicide bomber has an interesting psychological profile. Consciousness has decided to take a hike in the mountains while the archetype rules that individual. The unpredictability and the irrational responses of oneself, in an introverted mood has made every individual ask himself, “what came over me”. Spirits, Jaadoo, Jinn are all excellent explanations and they might have as much scientific backing as Jung's theory of the collective unconsciousness has, but that is besides the point. The point to realize is that Man is in the grip of forces that it cannot rationally explain. Pakistan is in the grip of forces that are not conscious in nature. Our dear president is one such example. How is he where he is? The Taliban, how have they become such a threat? Islam, the religion of peace, how has that been corrupted? Pakistan the land of the pure, how has that become such a mess?

It is very possible to bring forth a detailed analysis, overvaluing certain key events and building up a chain of events. The propensity of the human mind is to fill in the blanks to make a logical story out of a chaotic set of events. The truth of the matter is, a little disappointing to the man in search of complete answers and organization. That man will have to satisfy himself with half cooked propaganda, conspiracy theories, intellectual discussions or fairy tales. Each will have some truth in it, but there will be spaces in every theory. Spaces are the very nature of life itself and they can never be fathomed. From the subatomic to the interstellar, the quest of mankind and the realm of matter stop where space begins. The archetypes inhabit those spaces. It is those spaces that speak to man and it is those very spaces that are speaking to every Pakistani at this point in time. Ironically it is those very spaces that are speaking to the American and the Taliban. I would not be wrong to say that they are not faring well in their conversations with the unintelligible either. Misery loves guests at the tea table and we as Pakistanis should not fear loneliness, at all.

The symbols that Jung came up in his work, make for a rich exploration. Because he took these symbols as the language of life, he had time only to decipher a little in his life. The process continues. The multi faceted nature of his work is akin to an adaptor. Life itself escapes such an adaptor-ish approach so my musings should be taken with a grain of salt.

The full discussion of Jung's archetypes and the interpretation of the Pakistani heritage deserves nothing less than a long afternoon discussion on the benches of Lawrence Gardens in Lahore. I will, therefore restrict myself to a discussion about the anima and the animus in our heritage. The anima and animus according to Jung are the male and female counterparts that exist in all of us. A male will have the anima to balance him and female the animus. The anima and the animus as archetypes follow a sequence of development or a process of individuation, as per Jung.

The anima is described to traverse four stages which are equivalent of the four stages of the animus. The female element or the anima is personified by Eve, Helen, Maria and Sophia. Eve is the primordial image of the female form, which is the mother form. Anima at its initial stage begins as the mother for the infant. It is asexual but soon it is given the characteristics of Helen of Troy. She has a seductive appeal and romantic connotations. Mary, the next stage is characterized by a religious longing where as Sophia is the example of Wisdom- the apex of the womanly nature. Similarly in the hermaphroditic fate of human beings, the animus also matures. It is exemplified by the muscle man or thug as the primordial image. Tarzan would be an example. The second stage is of the man of action, for example Ernest Hemingway, whereas the third is of the “word”. The professor or the learned man are the examples of the “word”. The fourth stage is of the incarnation of spiritual meaning. It is the anima or animus that mediates unconscious impulses so that they can survive and thrive in reality or consciousness of man or woman.

Jung believed that in Islam, Prophet Muhammad PBUH was the archetypal symbol for the ultimate evolution of the animus where as Hazrat Fatima, in his view, was the example of the most mature anima. Hazrat Umar and Hazrat Ali both evolve in their life from men of action to men of knowledge. Both of them strive to be in the likeness of the Prophet PBUH, the godhead of the animus. We can see various personalities of our recent political history in a similar process of individuation. I believe the country, at different times with different leaders, followed a collective individuation process.

Let us take the founder of Pakistan, Quaid e Azam. He was certainly a man of action at one stage and then a man of knowledge. It is true that in his later life, his anima evolved from his fixation to Ratti Jinnah to his religious sister and religious nation but he could never become the embodiment of the ultimate truth though. His life to the end remained troubled. His life was one of over compensation. Generally speaking, a good sign post for overcompensation tends to be lack of humor, something that our current President does not have a fault with. Gandhi, however, across the border was a different story. He threatened to and maybe even achieved the stage of ultimate truth. A simple comparison of the impact these two lives had on the sub continent is interesting. It almost seems like Pakistan started off with a handicap. A schism just like the one in Jinnah's personality, has always existed in our country men. I am by no means ascribing a fault to Jinnah, but rather attempting to explain the almost schizophrenic nature of the country's founding archetype. This disconnect from the reality of the situation has always existed for our country. We as a nation are cursed at trying to overcome a conflict that was typified in Jinnah. It is no surprise that, the two parts of Jinnah's personalities are waging a war with each other at the present. A part that has run away with its naïve belief in Islam cut off from its cultural context and another trying to achieve sense through moderate indignation. Each part has achieved monstrous proportions and it is fueled by projections of the inadequately developed anima/animus.

A man with an undeveloped anima will unconsciously seek out the image of his mother, in a wife. The man will project the undeveloped anima on the wife and invariably there will be tension in the marriage, because the wife is the wife, not the man's mother. Similarly, a faction of people with an undeveloped consciousness will seek out the image of their anima/animus complex and project it. If the anima/animus is destructive, the result will be a society filled with men ready to kill or be killed. The anima of the Taliban is dark, wearing a shuttlecock Burqa, which is fairly primitive. It is no wonder that their biggest complaint is that they are not given a share in the power of the country. They feel that they are not getting the education, life style and prosperity they deserve. It is not funny that they are treating their women folk in much the same way they feel they are being treated. Projection fuels the conflict and projection has cars going both ways. The other faction on the other side of the divide, is no better off unfortunately. Their anima is that of a confused woman. One who is ready to be religious, when the need arises and yet lusts and longs for more and more materialism. The confused woman is incomplete. And when this faction projects on the religious fanatics, they call them confused, power hungry and religious as long as religion serves their purpose. They feel their existence threatened and the moderation is gradually turning in to a fight for survival. Should I ask how long it will be before both sides have their own army of suicide bombers or has it already happened?

From Jinnah to the present day, the faces of politicians have changed but the archetypal deficiencies have remained. In fact, the deficiencies seem to have grown. Are we going back in development as a nation? Our current president reminds me of the archetype of the trickster that Jung has described. Incidentally he is also the first stage of the development of the animus. The thug or the man who will get his way with hook or crook. Usually children love this archetype. They can spend hours watching Bugs Bunny and its exploits. The mischievous Bunny who tricks his way in to everything. Has our nation unfortunately reached that level of conscious development?

The question remains, though, what is the way out? Is it “out”, that we want to be headed or is it “In”?
Somebody has to bridge the divide between religion and the ultimate truth. Our nation needs a man of action, unlike Musharraf who like all our other leaders got stuck on the same question that stumped the founder of our nation. Yahya Khan took it to one extreme and Zia ul Haq to another but the fundamental question remained the same. How to adapt religious longings to the realities of life and how as a nation can we find the ultimate meaning for our lives. Imran Khan is a man of action, no doubt who has been writing about his own religious journey. Is he the person that promises to bridge the divide. Does he have the capacity to grow with the growth of the nation.

I would like to point out another interesting myth that Jung talks about. The birth, rebirth cycle. Out of the ravages of winter comes spring just like flowers have to die to be born again. This myth is repeated again and again in many cultures all over the world. It is the language of life itself. Is there going to be decimation before we as a nation, stand on our two feet.

Jung viewed the process of individuation as the main goal of life for the human being. It is only through the process of individuation that the balance between male female elements is achieved. Once that is achieved, the conscious becomes aware of the unconscious and the playwright of the human drama changes. Instead of being blindly carried forward by archetypal influences, man learns to swim the currents of the river. Only when one knows the direction of the river can one hope to swim to its banks. In this process of individuation lies the salvation for us as a nation and as individuals of this nation.

I started of this article by talking about the doomsday prophecies and I find myself being drawn in to a similar catastrophic mode. This tendency is not accidental but full of meaning. It is not a coincidence that people are talking such. Usually this is the footprint of an archetype. What exactly the archetype is that threatens to carry us along with it, needs to be brought in to awareness. After it is brought in to the consciousness will we be able to make a decision what our future direction is. Maybe our future decision will be to sit still and see how the drama unfolds.

The Death of a Poem

2009-05-22T21:42:00.000-07:00

A song of praise from a feathered throat
Cheers the budding of greenish spry
Rain drops plink on colors afloat
In a puddle reflecting the rainbow sky

The drought sucks the heaven dry
Life reeked of its melancholy past
in the maze; winds in the void sigh
counting sands of the desert vast

Force in space against divine grace
Is but one dimension of the design
Time can hold the pawn of desire
But fate shall make the phoenix fly

Shaheen

2009-04-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

Perch on mountain cliffs, Shaheen hai tu
Let the world be a speck in your eyes
The expanse of the skies was made for you
Heed the counsel of the Force, for the wind is wise

Learn the slavish ways of colorful birds
Know the tunes, they sing to placate
Be a denizen here and speak their words
But know your nature to soar; shed the weight!

When the Force shall will its will, the Source,
Shall put the will of the world in your swoop
Be proudly humble, listen to will of the Force
Peace will prevail in your graceful stoop.

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Now playing: Norah Jones - Shoot The Moon
via FoxyTunes

The Gladiator

2009-04-23T10:23:00.001-07:00

Today I shall face my demise and Why
has fate put me in the gladiator's role
The lion or myself, it is the arena's cry
Me naked with my self styled bludgeon
Makes vultures preen and puppets sigh.
The people know it unwise to beg off beggars
I was but playing under the sun and sky
when the lullabies changed in to the dirge
The crowds shall be reborn, it is nigh
Some shall say a prayer on my bier
They are already preparing to die
And the rest shall revel in sheer fear
Covering their eyes with black shawls.
The Force is made to ravage the walls.

Is terrorism equal to psychopathology

2009-04-20T13:08:00.000-07:00

The DSM IV defines mental disorders as:
behavioral or psychological syndrome or pattern that occurs in an individual and that is associated with present distress (e.g., a painful symptom) or disability (i.e., impairment in one or more important areas of functioning) or with a significantly increased risk of suffering death, pain, disability, or an important loss of freedom.

There is a debate to be had whether DSM IV's definition of mental health is adequate and whether it needs an overhaul to reflect a more comprehensive biopyschosocial formulation and being able to reconcile the boundary between mental and physical illnesses/suffering. See this article for why is it tricky and dangerous to use diagnoses.

We however are not going to get in to the debate whether terrorism per se is a diagnoses. Suicide bombing, inflicting pain on somebody are all very disturbing things.

The question arises who are the people who bring themselves to commit atrocities. This is nothing new and has been present since the conception of time. When man is faced with a question of survival, he is capable of anything. It is a basic instinct. There is something to be said about an individual's survival versus survival of a group and the differences in it, but the common denominator is survival. In religious views identification with a group or a higher power is transcedental but at the core it is still survival.

I will use the example of an oppositional child. In interviews and it happens to be a DSM criteria also, a child feels that a wrong is being done to it. Unfairness about circumstances that make up its world view abound. Usually it leads to a vicious circle with increased punishment on part of parents and a worsening sense of unfairness to the child.

In its effort to operationalize behaviors the DSM calls this situation as Oppositional defiant disorder. Whether that is a good thing or not is open to debate. But the important thing is that it attempts to put a "real life situation" in the domain of language. In this domain of language, the abstraction acquires substance and collaboration from multiple domains and areas can be used to understand this and work towards a solution.

Does early intervention, therapy or medications, or even the recognition of this phenomenon change the outcome of the vicious cycle. It certainly changes something. I do not think research is at a point where it can confidently say that it is for the better or the intervention leads to a predictable result all the times. There are too many factors that cannot be quantified.

Now let us take a look at the jail population. Psychopathology is usually the rule in the inmate population, rather than an exception. Usually these people have had difficulty conforming their behaviors to the rules and regulations of the norms. Regardless of "free will" and the behavioral concept of punishment, being able to mentally and physically adjust to the society is something these people have not been able to do.

Does terrorism also follow similar patterns? Does extremism also follow similar patterns? Does lack of flexibility and tolerance also follow similar patterns?

I think the answer to all the above questions is in the affirmative. Terrorists, extremists, rigid individuals are caught up in a vicious circle which is being propogated by the non terrorists, non extrmists and flexible individuals as much as themselves.

Then if terrorism is equal to psychopathology, is not non terrorism also equal to psychopathology. Do you blame the oppositional child or the parent. Do you blame the society or the inmate.

Now that I have put forward a dichotomous view of things, I would like to re iterate my fundamental belief that if in any case a polarized view of the world is seen, we are stuck in field which is one dimensional.

In this case it is a dimension of survival. The Constant operator!
The only way out of this mess is work in the transitional zone. Which keeps in mind the inner values of terrorists and non terrorists. A jump to a transition is a jump to a higher dimension. A dimension in which multiple answers exist. Either/or stops being the problem. With the change in perspective and vision, there comes a change in solutions.

In the words of Henry Clay, "A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied".

A labor of love

2009-04-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

My brother has been working on a short animation for the last two years. It was not selected for Oscars and that was a disappointment for me at least. I thought the quality of his work was great, as did a lot of people around him. Our discussion took a slightly refreshing turn. With his optimism and my pessimism there was a balance in which we explored a few ideas.
As Gustafson says, i managed to take one step in the right direction. It was a small suture (number 10 like the ones used by plastic surgeons for the face) in the unbalanced bifurcation. On one hand like always was the ever hungry pack of the exterior world and on the other was the internal freshness which makes the essence of people and that makes them create beautiful art.

The popularity=acceptability by the external world was the agent that was making him seek out appreciation. Appreciation of a society of rigid rules. Rigid rules designed to keep the production machinery from growing bigger and bigger. The world where acquisition turns in to an addiction. Acquisition of money, acquisition of power, acquisition of love, acquisition of piety and acquisition of happiness. The more and more acquisition is designed to fail at one point. And at that time, when facing failure, a person finds oneself captured in a one dimensional world. It is easy to recognize a one dimensional world from the characteristic two options that face a person at that time (complete salvation and complete annihilation). Splitting!

I read somewhere that to wait for appreciation of a work of art is like throwing a rose petal off the cliff and waiting to hear it strike the ground.

Where as I have posed the problem with the external world, there is a problem with the internal world of artists and introspection and dreams. There is equal danger in there also. In there is a world which associations are made, time stops and senses mix. The libido turned inwards does not leave a person fit to function and thrive in life. There is an element of functionality in a schizoid personality also but not a lot of adaptability with loved ones. And the worst part is that not a lot of people are lucky enough to be schizoid. They can be extremely anxious also always being used by the world and giving us the problem of the classic exploding doormat, as Gustafson would put it.

There have been artists who have broken on the rocky shores of an exterior world or gotten lost in their interior world. There is an archetype that exists of the reincarnated being. The Buddha who found Nirvana. The Wahi of the Muhammad PBUH. All people escaped life and found themselves inside and then returned to be a part of the world. From Lords of the ring Gandalf turned from gray to white.

The trick is as Gustafson puts it, to survey the field and decide on a game plan. To have the slow deliberate movement and a quick instinctual movement and to alternate in between them based on the field.

That is the labor(external) of love(internal).

Modern age barbarism continues

2009-04-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

A Saudi judge, upholds the Fiqqah in an excellent way when he rules the marriage of an 8 year old to a 47 year old man as just. The rationality behind the decision of course would justify such an action. The mother who appealed the case is not the legal guardian after the separation with her husband. In the esteemed judge's view providing this child with a fatherly figure who promised not to consummate the marriage till puberty, is a better alternative than to send her home with her mother. I am sure the mother's character is under question. After all she has gone against the cultural norms of the Saudi kingdom and is speaking to Kafirs of the west.
Who are we to judge? It is the judge's wisdom which takes its share from the infinite wisdom of God, that has determined this decision. Us mere mortals should remain out of this trancendental decision making processes.
I am sure the western press is highlighting this story to undermine Islam. This is a propognada against the values of Islam. Is it not true that Hazrat Ayesha was also married at an early age. Who cares if it was some centuries back. Islam is the religion for all times to come and that pesky little business of re organizing/updating the jurisprudence is SO annoying. Why should an infidel, have the right to make a decision about Islam. Infidels are to be killed when they identify themselves with any other sect of Islam which is not my own.

Whippings of the girl in Swat

2009-04-04T12:41:00.000-07:00

It is the norm in the scientific world to quote references and utilize the results of earlier investigations, to draw more conclusions. There are many potentials for error in such a system where a wrong conclusion puts people on the wrong directions. If the discrepancy in a system results in error n, every further utilization of the discrepant result with lead to a bigger error, n+1, n+2 and so on.
This is exactly what has happened in Islam. With these whippings in Swat, we have suddenly been woken up to the fact that we have strayed far from the spirit of Islam. We are at an n+infinity discrepancy. This is not Islam, this is something else altogether.
Because people always feel uncomfortable with discrepancies, the Islam of n+1 would not tolerate n+2. Hence the wars even in early parts of Islam. When the Prophet PBUH, said that his era would be the best and things would deteriorate after that, he knew about this fundamental law.
The wars and factions made for Caliphate, right after the Prophet's PBUH death were well on the road to an errant system.
We as a group feel indignant at the flogging, but it is to be realized that the version of Islam that we have is very different from the version of Islam that the onlooking people who witnessed the flogging had.
People who say that Islam is the last religion and there is not going to be another "true" religion after that are REALLY neglecting the versions of Islam that arise. Prophet PBUH was a visionary, a man, founder of a religion which was the right (read humanistic) thing for that particular place and time in Bedouin Arabia.
To bring forward punishments from that era and apply them today is nothing short of illiteracy and blind fanaticism. To make Quranic verses as the fundamental law to use in arguments amounts to the same thing also. Quran and Islam were there to give rights and improve the condition of people at that time. Islam was SLM for the humans, a way of life for the humans. It is not right to take it the opposite way and say that humans are for Islam.
The basic philosophy of Islam is what should lead us and if you look closely the same basic philosophy is there in multiple religions.

The lord of liberty city

2009-03-28T18:28:00.000-07:00

In liberty city, shackled by the sky
he choked on sun fire in grips of desire
She with curved nails spins her innate web
slowly; selling a throttling trap for hire

He works at a bar, dealing in spirits
and back stabbing unknown averted eyes
She a stylist, with an exotic name
Hiding filthy corners with damask lies

They unite, he plays at russian roulette
Gun powdered temple or a chance at joy
She plays at solitaire, waiting for the boil
A ritual for both yields a shattered boy

The mother cannibal breaks down the meat
Feeding the worm in her womb with slivers
Corruption damns one and frees the other
The lord rises on mother's death shivers

----------------
Now playing: Aaroh - Aik Din
via FoxyTunes

The contracture and expansion of ideas

2009-03-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

In the older days, in some unknown time, an unknown person infected by the same germ of static curiosity that infects me today, thought about a hypothesis which made a lot of sense at that time. The reason why women recovering from childbirth died more often than other women was because they had their vitality drained from them during childbirth. They gave a part of their soul to the child and that resulted in deficient "soul material". As a result they could not resist the evil influence of "death spirits" going around in the world. The "death spirits" preyed on weakened souls. Given the line of thinking and multiple simple experiments, however ill designed, people decided to contract the world around the post partum woman to save her life. Gradually other statically or dynamically curious beings restricted the world more and more around the woman. Another person posed that after the birth of a child the woman had her bones in a dilated position which gave the cold, a chance to get to "get in". As a result they could get catch a chest cold.

It is an interesting debate whether the idea propagated by itself as an independent entity or events acted as a catalyst on the right substrate to give a chemical reaction. Whatever the case, the idea that began at some point expanded and took a life of its own. It mutated and as a result of this idea the world contracted for the post partum woman. Some people would justify that this expansion of the idea and the contraction of world for the new mother is probably there to protect the mother. It would seem an evolutionary requirement for the idea to expand so that the new mother is saved to reproduce again.

If we observe the mechanics of the expansion of idea, we will observe that generalization is the main mechanism that makes ideas expand. Once one etiology gains credence the other etiology like it also seems more plausible. The idea grows thus. The witches burnt at the stakes is an excellent example of the idea generalizing like wild fire.

The same fundamental expansion on one scale and a contraction on another works whether we consider medical myths, jungian archetypes, religious thoughts on the larger scale or we consider the dynamics of paranoia, guilt or anxiety on the smaller scale.

A very moving letter of a tragic love affair.

2009-03-22T09:40:00.001-07:00

Ruttie Jinnah wrote to her husband from France, where she was undergoing treatment for her cancer. She was looking at death at an age of 29. She had forsaken her parents and her family for the love of a man. A complicated legend of a man!

Is it, that many a summer's day has past

Since, in life's morn, I carol'd on thy side?
Is it, that oft, since then, my heart has sigh'd,
As Youth, and Hope's delusive gleams, flew fast?

Is it that those, who circled on thy shore,

Companions of my youth, now meet now more?

Whate'er the cause, upon thy banks I bend

"Darling – thank you for all you have done. If ever in my bearing your once tuned senses found any irritability or unkindness – be assured that in my heart there was place only for a great tenderness and a greater pain – a pain my love without hurt. When one has been as near to the reality of Life (which after all is Death) as I have been dearest, one only remembers the beautiful and tender moments and all the rest becomes a half veiled mist of unrealities. Try and remember me beloved as the flower you plucked and not the flower you tread upon.

I have suffered much sweetheart because I have loved much. The measure of my agony has been in accord to the measure of my love.

Darling I love you – I love you – and had I loved you just a little less I might have remained with you – only after one has created a very beautiful blossom one does not drag it through the mire. The higher you set your ideal the lower it falls.

I have loved you my darling as it is given to few men to be loved. I only beseech you that the tragedy which commenced in love should also end with it.

Darling Goodnight and Goodbye

Ruttie

I had written to you at Paris with the intention of posting the letter here – but I felt that I would rather write to you afresh from the fullness of my heart. R."

Dollhouse: Bitter coffee

2009-03-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

Dollhouse is the new show on TV by Joss Wheadon. Remarkable concept from a remarkable artist. His artistic endeavors are limited by his budget, unfortunately. His plots and thoughts though ground breaking have a sense of disparity to them, that makes a large majority uneasy. Firefly/Serenity was remarkable. Buffy and now Dollhouse, have the promise of a unique concept, but fail to deliver the pop inspired cravings of a capitalist world. No, you do not get what you paid for. It is not the best morphine that money can buy. A person cannot lose oneself in the concept even temporarily. Dollhouse has good character depth, but not enough time has been spent on the plot. It is not seamless and there are mistakes which are blatant in the story line. The low budget is another thing that keeps on annoying every scene and every twist. It is like that itch, that refuses to go away.
There is a certain irony in the way humans aquire taste. How the bitterest of the coffees are liked and how some people enjoy pain. There is that element to the show. A self inflicted pain. A drug that does not only send a person to sleep but wakes a person to all ones defenses. The stark reality is there and there is no one to comfort or sing a lullaby when the lights go out and Dollhouse starts.
The slavery, the ease, the lack of thought are so blatant that one almost feels like staring at a portrait. The background blurred, the subject is all that is playing on the stage. Look at the subject. Look at yourself. Sure a lot of people are not going to like it. But for the few that enjoy, the raw concept that Wheadon is putting out, this will just be better bitter coffee.
Watch the episodes here.

Rehabilitating the electronic butterfly

2009-03-08T21:37:00.000-07:00

Electronic socializing has become the craze recently. Boundaries are defined by the medium of communication being used. There is no obligation to answer and participation in every discussion is entirely the choice of the individual. In essence, control is what is given to the electronic butterfly. In any human interaction there are a number of ways that a person can interact in a negative way. We can look at it in terms of on-off phenomenon, for example, lack off or presence of endorphins. In reality to think about the whole range of possibilities in the neurotransmitter/receptor analogy, we would have to consider degrees of "off" and "on" (antagonist, agonist, partial antagonist, partial agonist, inverse agonist, inverse antagonist).
But in a black and white world, a world of ideals, a world of extremes, a positive feeling will lead the electronic butterfly to drone around the electronic interactions more so than the actual interactions. In the same world, the human or the actual interactions are giving a certain negative feeling to such an individual. The morale is not protected. Morale can take a hit in an interaction when invasion, judgment or deception take place.
A person who by Horney's construct "goes with the people", is an anxious person who lives in a dangerous world where control is a luxury. Anxiety and the need for control go hand in hand. This butterfly when laying its eggs, wants to control any invasion, judgment or deception. The barrier, alter persona and freedom to move is granted by the electronic socialization.
The same answer would be invaluable to the same person outside of the world of electronics. Utility of these principles is one of the arm of social skills training.

Placenta brain...pregnancy and cognition

2009-02-01T09:13:00.002-08:00

Since there is no extensive research in this phenomenon and I have personally gotten to see this happen, I tried finding some data to see what is the cause.

-One study I cam across found an association between prior history of PMS and perceived forgetfulness with the hypothesis that some women were more sensitive to the effects of the hormones.
-Another study found differences in arousal levels between pregnant women and controls. They also mention that mood can have an effect on perceived cognitive deficits.
-One other study found that pre-pregnancy personality and the level of consciousness had an impact of subjective perception of cognition, as did level of anxiety.
-Another study found selective attention deficits which tended to recover in post partum women.
-Peri-partum memory deficits have been found independant of mood changes. Progesterone and DHEA in pregnancy can have an effect on mood but memory deficits are independant of these variables.

Several conclusions

1. Subjective concern at feeling forgetful and lack of concentration is real and should not be dismissed when encountered.

2. The reason why this thing has not come out in studies is because of lack of instruments to detect a difference in between study population and control.

3. There is concern of "medicalizing" a natural process. There are a lot of implications to calling this a "maternal amnestic syndrome", including work rights for women at work place and discrimination based on gender.

4. Pre pregnancy level of functioning and personality structure and its response to stress can also play a role in which people feel and identify a change in cognition.

5. Changes in sleep and awareness can also contaminate subjective sensations.

More research is needed to see what are the exact deficits that are faced and what is there effect on daily routines. If special work accomodations have to be made at work place, it would not be prejudice, it would be recognizing nature.

The archetype and the meta archetype

2009-01-01T16:44:00.002-08:00

As a dear friend recently pointed out a debate that I thought was long gone dead. It was concerning how the sexual roles are basically archetypes. The archetype of a woman is a role defined by the culture. The yearnings, inhibitions and gross cognitive processes would generally be the same cross culturally. Ofcourse not in little details but little details prove the system rather than working against it.
Developmental of psychological apparatus and all such hypotheses are based on an archetype individual. An individual which is present in the world of "idea". Such an individual would do what is the "nature of man".
This main archetype is then divided into atleast two more archetypes, if not more. That of the man and the woman, Adam and Eve, Yin and Yang. These two are then further sub divided depending on conflicts that any of these two archetypes go through for example the archetype of the little girl, the archetype of the teenage girl, the archetype of the fertile woman, the archetype of the mother etc etc.
Talking about archetypes should be facilitated if the word meta and sub is introduced in to the archetype referring to the archetypal classification above or below it.

The spectrum of neuroses

2008-12-29T07:12:00.000-08:00

Neuroses as defined by conflicts can be normal in a person during a period in which decisions are required. When the choice is needed between two different paths. They become a problem sometimes though. Horney describes the following characteristics of neuroses which tend to become a problem.
-They are incompatible with each other. Both alternatives to a decision are avoided.
-If looking at them spatially a normal conflict will be 90 degrees to each other where as a neurotic conflict will be 360 degrees to each other.
-A conflict will have both alternatives that can be valued but in a neurotic conflict both alternatives will be abhorred.
-If any conflict plays itself on two poles, the two poles will be more polarized in a neurotic conflict.
-The stakes will be higher when a neurotic conflict is concerned.

Balint describes the malignant and the benign fault. It almost sounds like that is what Horney observed. Balint however put the causes of the fault as development of an individual. A fault in the preverbal stage caused a malignant fault which caused the organism not being able to conceptualize the conflict in words.

It would seem that Horney and Balint talk about swinging on a pendulum which seems to address two different dimensions in two different planes.

Speech problems

2008-11-30T11:45:00.003-08:00

Recently while evaluating a child with speech problems, the parents mentioned whether the child had apraxia or not. What ensued was a discussion in which neither the parents nor myself knew what we were talking about. To add to the confusion, my hippocampus had thrown out several associations to apraxia of speech, like dysarthria, phonological disorder and aphasias. Doing an internet search compounded the difficulty just as asking various people did. Everyone answered something that they were not sure about and soon my head was swimming about their differences. Luckily I found an article in Neurocase (2005) 11, 427-432 by Ogar et al.

APRAXIA OF SPEECH: Impaired ability to coordinate the sequential, articulatory movements neccessary to produce speech sounds is called apraxia. Articulatroy erros and prosodic abnormalities are hallmarks. Signs include effortful trial and error grouping with attempts at self correction, persistent dysprosody, articulatory inconistency on repeated productions of the same utterance and/or obvious difficulty initiating utterances. Vacular lesions, trauma, tumors can cause this. Apraxia of speech is also the first symptom in neurodegenerative diseases such as corticobasal degeneration or non-fluent progressive aphasia.

CONDUCTION APHASIA: Result of damage to communication between Wernicke and Broca. This communication is through extreme capsule and/or arcuate fasiculus. Speech is fluent, comprehension is good but oral reading is poor and major impairment in repitiion. Many paraphasias occur and transpositions of sounds within a word also occurs (television -> velitision).

BROCA'S APHASIA: In this the speech is understood, and the all the levels of speech planning are intact except for motor execution which is not intact.

(Apraxic speakers are believed to select the correct phonemes, only to have trouble with their motor execution; People with conduction aphasia typically speak with near normal prosody, whereas halting effortful speech with abnormal prosody. They may also lack awareness of their speech errors and therefore may not always make attempts at self correction while the opposite is true in cases of apraxia of speech)

DYSARTHRIA: Dysarthria is caused by impairment of muscle strength, tone, range of motion and/or coordination. It can be caused by UMN or LMN lesions of the cranial nerves.

(Errors heard in dysarthric speech are typically consistent and predictable, while the speech errors heard in apraxia of speech tend to be highly irregular. Sound distortions, prolonged segment durations (e.g prolonged vowels or consonants) and prolonged inter segment durations (e.g. abnormal pauses within sounds, syllables or words) are characteristic for apraxia of speech.

PATHOPHYSIOLOGY OF APRAXIA: Van der Merwe's model of speecch planning and programming says that initially, basic linguistic units or phonemes are selected. During a second motor planning phase these phonemes are organized into temperospatial codes for speech production. In the third, motor programming phase, muscle specific motor programs are selected and sequenced before moving forward to fourth phase when these sequences are carried out by the speech musculature. Apraxia of speech is caused by problem with second phase.

TREATMENTS: For mildly apraxic patients, poor prosody may be the primary speech deficit and therefore, goals designed to improve intonation and stress. For the moderately or severely apraxic patient, therapy might focus on relearning oral postures for individual speech sounds.
-PROMPT uses rate and rhythm control strategies
-Wambaugh and colleagues use remediation of misarticulated consonants through modeling repetition of minimally contrastive words, graphic cues and phonetic placement cueing.

Dreams

2008-11-29T08:33:00.003-08:00

Shani says:
"I say dreams are a mechanism of the mind to test any changes it makes to the model of the world (in our head), while we sleep.Say i watch a documentary on snakes. I already have a section on snakes in my head (part of the model of the world around me) that has all the 'relevant' information i have collected on snakes so far. Owing to what happend during the day, while i lay in bed and sleep, my mind goes to work to extract the new data (or extent of emphasis on old data/rules), and then wants to suppliment the old notion of snakes with the new data ... as it does that it needs to verify whether that change is good, i.e. wouldn't lead to me say getting bit by a snake cuz i stepped on it. So to verify, the mind creates a drama and lets my updated model react to it, i might see myself in a jungle and then a snake and the mind carefully monitors my reaction to it ... if everythign goes smooth, good, if not then maybe the changes weren't quite right ... "

I say:
"I think there is the biological and then there is the psychological function of dreams. It is not clear whether the dreams play a homeostatic role in our lives, meaning that they create the balance, re orient us and bring us to the center of our biological or our psychological lives.

I think you are right about dream being the censor for the change that occurs in our minds. I would though want to extend it by saying that introducing snake as a data in the mind means introducing various things in the mind. I would liken it to the mind going over the translation of the world that it did in the day time. I would think that is what you mean by going over the data.
The translation though would be a tricky thing because that would mean what is the data that the mind sees.
If I were wearing red spectacles I would interpret all data about colors as various shades of red. So it is interesting how the mind interprets the new data. In gross terms new data is interpreted, associated and then stored.
In the example of the snake. You dreamed about the snake. Your interpretation of the snake, i would think is a very biological phenomenon which involves integration of the lines and the colors and then naming it by comparing it to past experiences. The comparing part starts to spill over in to the psychological realm. Now when you compare it, the emotional significance of the snake will be brought forth. Freud felt that unconscious mind or the dreaming mind is involved with primary thinking. Thinking that would use primitive patterns of reaching conclusions. (See level I and level II defences). There are some bizarre explanations for a snake incidentally. Snake has been interpreted as a phallic symbol and the explanation is that the mind while associating it might recall a similar emotion (the one that the person might have felt on seeing a snake) associated with a similar form. Ofcourse there is a lot of "static" also going on in terms of defences and the resulting situation is bizarre dreams which need to be interpreted.

Dyslexia

2008-11-25T06:48:00.000-08:00

Dyslexia: A specific reading disability due to a defect in the brain's processing of graphic symbols.

Dyslexias are characterized by their characteristic hemishperic deficit.
Pirozzolo (1979) and Pirozzolo and Hess (1976) suggest that there are two fundamental types of dyslexia: auditory-linguistic dyslexia and visual-spatial dyslexia. Persons with the former exhibit difficulties in the verbal and language area, have naming problems, and are slow in carrying out any types of verbal tasks. The persons with the former struggle with visual perceptual difficulties. Bakker (1973; 1979; 1982; 1983) thinks about different approaches to reading. The linguistic-auditory group uses their left type hemishphere hence called L-type dyslexics. The visual dyslexics have a difficulty with perceptual requirements in word representation and use the disorder stems from right hemisphere, hence the term P-called dyslexics. The same kind of differentiation is meant by the the words dysphonetic(auditory problems) and dyeidetic dyslexics (visual problems). Hemishpheric EEGs also show preferential brain activation with the different types of dyslexics.

Prigogine: The end of certainty

2008-11-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

In his book, the end of certainty, Prigogine talks about irreversibility as a possibility. This is something that people have neglected when putting forward laws that describe how nature operates. He calls many laws deterministic in nature, in that, they can be bidirectional with respect to time. He however says that this bidirectional time is a very narrow minded view. It only takes into consideration the isolated experimental subjects and considers them free of the multiple other factors that are impacting on them.

I was involved with a functional behavioral analysis of a child with disruptive behaviors. In a functional behavioral analysis one tries to determine the antecedents that cause the behaviors and the consequences that either enforce or extinguish the behaviors. A hypothesis of the whole situation is made and that hypothesis is tested out. The parents are then given strategies to manage the behaviors from the hypotheses. The proof that those strategies work has been shown to the parents during the testing phase. Hypothesis like "the child can go to a non preferred activity if he knows that it is time limited and if it is followed by a preferred activity", is an example.

This kind of analysis of behaviors is fine if a behavior is only considered to be present and influenced by a limited number of antecedents and consequences. But the truth of the matter is that the true antecedents to a behavior are multiple and have a propensity to be unknown. Freud believed the majority of the decisions that a person was making were unconscious. When dealing with these many possibilities of environmental and psychological variability, it is essential not to "over simplify" or "over complicate"things to the point that incredulous demands be made of patients in "treatment".

Prigogine talks about phase space which would be very applicable to the scenario of the disruptive child. All the different possible behaviors of the child are represented in that phase space. Prigogine also talks about stable (determinism) and unstable (chaotic) equilibrium and details characteristics of those systems.

A beautiful example he uses is of Poincare who proved that dynamical systems are non integrable. An integrable system would be a static deterministic world without the possibility of freedom. Non integrability results from existence of resonances between degrees of freedom. What we have done with behavioral analysis is to put on deterministic glasses and translated the multi factorial world into a lesser dimension. The city of Oz was not really green.

Prigogine also talks about prevalent energies in a system. How potential energy is maximum in a state of equilibrium and free energy is at minimum in a state of equilibrium. Increasing energy in a system also increased the areas of randomness in it. He describes creativity as an irreversible phenomenon which has been associated with complexity. Any system in non equilibrium can spontaneously evolve in to increased complexity and any system in non equilibrium can lead to irreversible phenomenon, hence creation.

With this he comes full circle to creation as an irreversible process which creates a system of equilibrium for itself till of course it is pushed into non equilibrium again. It will get pushed into non equilibrium.

From this we glimpse a view of a world which is constantly oscillating in between equilibrium and non equilibrium. A world which is constantly changing due to chaos, organizing and disorganizing itself. And caught in the center is man who attempts to act like the universe, organizing and then disorganizing whatever it comes across. Creating and then uncreating. Cooking and then digesting. Being born and then dying.

Jungian archetypes in media

2008-11-23T11:39:00.000-08:00

In a conversation today, I realized how the theory of Jungian archetypes has an association with the recent trend of going behind the mask of the superhero. In Hollywood movies the trend has turned from the behaviors of the superheroes to the motivations behind them. In all past cultures this has come at a certain point in their respective civilizations. The stories attributed to the gods are present in greek, roman, egyptian, hindu and virtually any civilizations. When religion clamped down on the muslim culture the stories about the life of mystics and pirs was born. It almost points to an innate need of a civilization to have stories about the ideals. As if the masses are trying to express their conflicts in the idealized figures that they try to emulate. This primordial need is manifesting itself in the the movies of the present also.
Batman from the times of George Clooney and Kilmer has suddenly a different mood now. Superman was explored in more detail in Smallville. Spiderman has definitely become more introspective. Star wars had to explore the origins of the dark side.
The point to notice is that the creators of all these characters had invented their past when they were brought to life initially. Spiderman's conflicts about being Parker and avenging the death of his grandfather are not new. Neither is Clark's search for his home land and the isolation that he feels new. But they were limited by the spread of the comic media. Now it is as if the whole world is re discovering these archetypes as the media reaches out to them.
There is ofcourse a finite amount of media or the interpretation of media that can be incorporated in an individual's mind. That amount of finite data, has a comprehensible number if we apply the bell curve to the human population. Neuropsychology shows us that all new information has to be interpreted, associated and then remembered. Hence within that bell curve there is all sorts of different combinations that exist. Some person might comprise his "moral good" as an expression of batman and superman, another might have a different combination. The result is a pallette of different colors that portray the internal unconscious life of an individual. Twinship to different archetypes as well as parental/environmental mirroring might also play an important part in selection of the colors that go to make a pallette.
A point to note is that people who do not watch movies are not necessarily bereft of this archetypal life. They just reach out and grab onto the archetypes that have been passed down from other sources like religion or ancestary.
Retelling stories and understanding them from different perspectives an important part of the human dillemma. Something that will continue in its myriad variations.

Quantum of solace

2008-11-19T18:10:00.000-08:00

A beautiful name to a beautifully executed movie. The name fits like a glove on this raw-nerves-hanging-out-0f-a-severed-limb of a movie. Almost reminds one of the despairing theme of Monte Cristo in search for some measure of solace. This movie develops the character of James Bond very well. It is one step more in the direction of the making of the idealized fictional character of James Bond.
James Bond was delivered from the pen like womb of his writer perfect and an end product. This series of movie caters to the masses growing curiosity which is also the curiosity of the age. How are things the way that they are. It echoes with the same question that an introvert might ask of his own image in the mirror. Why am I here.
James Bond also struggles to find the same answer. In the grips of terror, he looses control of himself. His rage at the powers that hurt him is phenomenal and destructive but hurts no one like the way it hurts him. He realizes this when he sees his rage mirrored in another individual and then he realizes how subtle manipulations are more satisfying in the road to revenge than all out vendetta. The baby that attacked the mother's nipples with its teeth is learning. It is growing up and finding out better ways to destroy the world around him. Only after destruction and re synthesis will the world be a place worth understanding.
His attachment to no one speaks of a reactivity and he knows that the superman in him can be protected only if he surrenders himself to someone who was not there when he needed her. In this movie the maternal cravings of Bond are actually put in words. Psychoanalytically speaking it is the same cravings that would make him act like a play boy. He is saving his most precious self for his mother and will not give it to any other woman. He has tried to.... but it hurts too much. James Bond is on his way to become the scarab that he has always been in the literary world. From the same phenomena arises the guilt and the death wish that he is known for. Cool in the face of total annihilation can come from either not being afraid of death or it can come from total involvement with it. Like all other dual descriptors, these two circumstances can and usually do exist side by side defying reason but if described in an apt way, they make true art. Quantum of Solace is true art.

Psychic trauma in children: review of an article

2008-11-19T18:08:00.000-08:00

AM J Psychiatry 138:1 January 1981 by Lenore C. Terr, M.D.

Background:
This article discusses the response to psychic trauma in children who were exposed to the kidnapping in Chowchilla.
The story of the kidnapping goes something like this: July 1976, 26 children (5-14 year) disappeared for 27 hours and they eventually escaped their captors. The school bus had been stopped by a van blocking the road and masked men had taken over the bus at gun point. The children were transferred to boarded over vans in which they were driven for 11 hours and then transferred into a "hole" (actually a buried truck trailer). The kidnappers covered the truck-trailer with earth. The children were buried for 16 hours until two of the oldest and the strongest boys 14 and 10 dug them out. By then the kidnappers had left the vicinity.

Methods:
The children were interviewed by the author and one or both of the parents had also been interviewed. The school bus driver and the kidnappers were not interviewed. This interview took place between 5-13 months.

Notes:
Initial signs of traumatic disruption (the breach of the ego):
-Omens: Children tend to associate things that happened before the incident and related that as the causal factor of why they were kidnapped.
-Fear of further trauma: Traumatophobia. (am I going to be killed?)
-Disturbances in cognition: During trauma disturbance in cognitive function such as perception, time sense and thought.

Repetitive phenomena (Repetition compulsion):
-Traumatic dreams: 1)terror dreams 2)exact repetition of kidnapped events 3)modified repetitions of kidnapping events 4)deeply disguised dreams
-Post traumatic play
-Reenactment: Direct reenactments of attitudes, fears or actions that have occurred before or after the kidnapping.
-Absence of flashbacks: Adolescents exhibited "voluntary" visions in contrast to the involuntary intrusive thoughts that adults have. Children younger than 9 did not complain of having visions. The ability to day dream develops after 9 and that might be the reason why children below 9 did not have flash backs.

Fears: (Kidnap related fears)
-All children had kidnapping related fears.

Personal Commentary:
Note that the DSM required criteria of a distressing event, re experience, avoidance and increased arousal are necessary for PTSD. Children in this incident also displayed re experience (exeplified by the repetitive phenomena), avoidance (is an end point of multiple psychological factors including omens and fears) and hyperarousal (exemplified by fears) .

Mutability

2008-11-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

Mutability

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

We are as clouds that veil the midnight moon;
How restlessly they speed, and gleam, and quiver,
Streaking the darkness radiantly! -yet soon
Night closes round, and they are lost for ever:

Or like forgotten lyres, whose dissonant strings
Give various response to each varying blast,
To whose frail frame no second motion brings
One mood or modulation like the last.

We rest. -A dream has power to poison sleep;
We rise. -One wandering thought pollutes the day;
We feel, conceive or reason, laugh or weep;
Embrace fond woe, or cast our cares away:

It is the same! -For, be it joy or sorrow,
The path of its departure still is free:
Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow;
Nought may endure but Mutablilty.

Walking in the Doorway

2008-11-07T18:48:00.000-08:00

The door which was a window
to a busy corridor.
Painting of moving people
typewritten and then
erased so!
For an instance they walked in the open,
with the walk they walked behind walls.
A brief interval
Walk in and then walk out.
And between the in and the out
Lay their entire life.
Naked so!
And despite all their walls,
the left and right
was longing to be heard.

Rumi in "Three cups of tea".

2008-10-26T01:11:00.000-07:00

There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.
There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don’t you?

I came across these verses of Rumi in "Three cups of tea" by Greg Mortinsen. Beautiful choice to begin the chapter.

The increase pack principle

2008-10-22T17:43:00.000-07:00

"Indeed, man has been created with a restless disposition........"- Quran, 70:19-27

Imagine an animal, which in order to preserve itself continues to eat. That threat to its preservation is perpetual. The only life that the animal has known off is the one under threat. For some reason if the threat is removed, the animal loses its senses. The purpose of life which was to stay alive and to escape the threat is no longer valid. The animal knows one thing only. To eat is to survive even if that means justifying its behaviors by creating a threat which is not there.

This is a sure sign of an increase-pack dynamic. And like the animal that gorges itself, and increased pack dies in its own weight.

Modern capitalism is one such example which functions on an increase pack principle. There are multiple fears that the system creates to justify its behaviors in increasing itself. Poverty, illness and chaos are the things which are feared. Everything is done so as not to come across those three things. Hence the tolerance off experiencing those three states is non existent.

Given the above state of affairs, a citizen of modern capitalism does not make a very good patient in the hospital or a good loser on the football field or an investor who has gone broke. Everything was meant to be according to a formula, how could it fail? Kubler Ross stages of dealing with loss or death are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The increase pack does not like losing and certainly does not like dying and hence spends a lot of time vacillating in the first four stages without ever coming to a state of acceptance. It is inconceivable to the animal that it could die even though it followed the exact prescribed diet for staying alive. Similar kind of cognitive dissonances exist in the so-called spiritually imbued world of religion. There are specific prayer formulas to keep out the evil eye or achieving multiple nefarious objectives.

Such patterns speak about classifying the vibrancy of life in mathematical formulae. This is the arrogance of the human mind which seeks to go govern everything by subjugating it to the base language of reasoning that it understands.

Diagnosis of Tourette's Syndrome

2008-10-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

Tourette's disorder is named after Gilles de la Tourette, a french neurologist who was a student of Charcot. He worked as his resident in Salpetriere, Paris. Charcot named this disease for his resident when Tourette published a case series of nine patients with Tourette's syndrome. Previously thought to be rare, it is now thought to be a spectrum disorder with neuropsychological sequelae. Incidence ranging from 1-10 per 1000. Tourette's is a disorder which poses as many different things and is usually misdiagnosed with many things before it is correctly diagnosed. The DSM IV TR criteria for Tourette's are:

A. Both multiple motor and one or more vocal tics have been present at some time during the illness, although not necessarily concurrently. (A tic is a sudden, rapid, recurrent, nonrhythmic, stereotyped motor movement or vocalization.)

B. The tics occur many times a day (usually in bouts) nearly every day or intermittently throughout a period of more than 1 year, and during this period there was never a tic-free period of more than 3 consecutive months.

C. The onset is before age 18 years.

D. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., stimulants) or a general medical condition (e.g., Huntington's disease or post viral encephalitis).

As per criteria it is useful to screen patient's for tics but sometimes it is also useful to keep a flexibility to go the opposite way, i.e, look for a particular type of a personality and then look for tics. The typical tourette's personality reflects the development of individuals in a certain way. Individuals with Tourette's have problems with inattention, hyperactivity, anxiety symptoms, obsessive thoughts, compulsive actions, stubbornness, mood swings and tics. The development of Tourette's children is probably parallel to the development of a child without Tourette's because of the fact that people with Tourette's can be found in all walks of life.

Some people call the associated features of Tourette's as co morbid diagnoses. Anxiety disorders, ADHD especially inattentive type and Cyclothymia vs Bipolar can be seen. So searching for tics once seeing a constellation of symptoms as above can be helpful.

The moon and six pence-Maugham

2008-10-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

The moon and six pence is a short story by W. Somerset Maugham but by my standards it qualifies as a book in more ways than one. There are some commentaries about him writing this book about Gauguin but when I first read this book I was not aware of this connection. I read this book when I was in the second/third year of medical school and it shook me quite a bit primarily because I was involved with preoccupations and themes elaborated in this book.

The book talks about man's need for freedom. It talks about the mundane quality of every day life that mankind can find so oppressive. It talks about a quest for finding the thing that makes life worth living. It gives words to the fundamental desire, that is as inherent in the bosom of man as breathing. The desire being the quest of happiness. Biologically happiness equates to dopamine and endorphins being released in the pleasure centers of the brain and the quest for happiness would be all the ways that an organism can manipulate its surroundings to achieve that goal. The book actually makes this quest just that, a biological drive. It removes the guilt associated with achieving this goal. The guilt Maugham points out subtly is a machination of the mind.
The protagonist in this book is a person that does not feel any guilt but does things based primarily on whether it makes him happy. It results in disastrous consequences for his wife, children, acquaintances and lovers. And the human tragedy that is so beautifully delivered in the book speaks about the conflict that one decision of man puts him up against. Every decision comes with its sets of "advantages and disadvantages", "pros and cons." And the advantages turn into disadvantages the minute our frame of reference changes. Maugham describes how one man escapes the frames of reference of "normality." Normality of course being described in turns of averages and numbers only. This escape brings with it another set of shackles. So essentially the hero exchanges one set with another. However these shackles are of his own choosing and as he dies in the most wretched conditions he draws his masterpiece. Sometimes miseries of our choosing can be preferable to an alternate set of miseries because there is a certain pleasure that is derived by the act of exercising the will, as futile as it might be.

Maugham remains engrossed with these existential questions and concerns in his other works. also. There has been some criticism on Maugham's work as not being as technically sound in terms of allegories, but the content of his writings and the pace with which he keeps the story going is second to none. There is a certain elegance to his writing that struck me, especially the abstract discourses about paintings. He writes also very similarly to how one would paint. He uses brush strokes which are direct and to-the-point on one portion of the canvas and then uses languid purposeless strokes on another portion. The irregularities to detail, the seeming randomness and the transitions are following a pattern in the writer's mind which is not apparent at first but as the process of application of ideas to paper is complete, it is awe inspiring.

This is clearly a topic that has some deep personal significance for Maugham. And same was the case with me.

The paranoid dynamic and mindfulness

2008-10-10T09:46:00.000-07:00

Paranoia consists of individuals projecting on to other objects their unconscious desires or motives. There is a certain amount of a paranoia existent in every individual and there are a good number of people who have more of this trait than other people. According to the DSM-IV-TR, between 0.5% and 2.5% of the general population of the United States may have PPD, while 2%–10% of outpatients receiving psychiatric care may be affected. A significant percentage of institutionalized psychiatric patients, between 10% and 30%, might have symptoms that qualify for PPD.

Paranoia is sometimes used to cope with intra-psychic conflicts. When used like that it is called a defence in classical pshychoanalytical literature. For example lets consider a person who does not like a certain sweater and wants to destroy it while it is hanging on display in the shop. For the sake of appropriateness he will inhibit that impulse and by inhibition will give rise to an intrapsychic conflict. This conflict will become more and more strong as the impulses to destroy this sweater increase because of the opposite tendency which is in harmony with not doing anything inappropriate while looking at sweaters in the shop. Now let us consider the shop manager who to help out this person looking at sweaters in the shop comes over and starts hovering around. This person who has been thinking of destroying the sweater will project on to the manager. Now he will feel persecuted by the manager and feel that the manager is expecting him to destroy the sweater and that is why he is hovering around him. This will lead to paranoia on the part of the person who is browsing the sweater line up in the sweater shop.
If people use this defence exclusively it results in a certain type of a personality called the paranoid personality disorder. People described as having a Paranoid personality employ other defences also but we are foucsing on the paranoid dynamic.

In clinical situations it is proscribed that dealings with these individuals should be follow certain rules.

-It is important to hide as little as possible from these individuals. This transparency should include note taking; details of administrative tasks concerning the individual; correspondence; and medications.

-Individuals with paranoid tendencies often don't have a well-developed sense of humor; those who must interact with people with PPD probably should not make jokes in their presence. Attempts at humor may seem like ridicule to people who feel so easily threatened.

-Asking about an individual's past can undermine the treatment of PPD people. Concentrating on the specific issues that are troubling the patient with PPD is usually the wisest course.

-The paranoid thought should not be challenged too directly.

The basic proscription is because of the following dynamic. The paranoid dynamic vascillates in between two extremes. The model of the two extremes is useful for a number of dynamics and the etiology of defences (from Level I to Level IV), Gustafson has called these extremes the near-far dilemma. On one hand is the threat to be engulfed in the closeness which is too uncomfortable and on the other hand is the distance which threatens total isolation and loss of touch from reality.

So with a health care provider there is a dance which the paranoid person engages in. If the clinician is not quick on his/her toes they can soon find themselves out of rhythm with the interview. The above general rules serve well but it is to be kept in mind that rules are made for people and not vice versa.

"The unfettered mind" which is taught in everyday mindfulness is needed in many things including dealing with this trait/defense/jinn described above.

Platon Karataev

2008-10-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

One of the most memorable characters that I have come across in a book. The amount of space afforded to this character in the voluminous War and Peace and the impact it has on the readers is a good yard stick for it to safely say that this character is not a mere depiction of conflicts or ideals. Actually the character was remarkable for the total indifference it had towards the creator of the book. It did not demand any extra space. It did not demand any extra brush strokes of paints to deck its already satisfied appearance. It existed and still exists in the world of the novel and out of the novel. It is a character that can be said goes beyond the book that gave it semblance and the author that gave it life. The character actually threatens to engulf its creator because it is through this character that the creator, Tolstoy is able to realize his most cherished ideal. He starts talking about him and then kills him by the French soldiers thus elevating him to the position that he is at. One wonders whether it was the inability of Tolstoy to further refine that perfection that made him kill this person.
Platon is the perfect archetype of the mystic. The Sufi. Incidentally one of the yard sticks that we just used with Platon (Russian for Plato) can also be used with innumerable sages and wise men. People who despite overwhelming odds realized their life and lived it to its potential. People through whom Life itself experienced itself in all its glory and Life as well as other people were left awe struck. That would be the transcendental archetype of which Platon is one example.
Muslims believe that Prophet Muhammad PBUH is the perfect example of that archetype.

Fatwa: order to kill blasphemers

2008-10-07T16:02:00.000-07:00

There are several people who over the period of time have been sentenced to death for saying something blasphemous. Salman Rushdie comes to mind foremost. His book Satanic Verses caused a lot of anguish in the Muslim world because it insulted the memories of the Prophet PBUH. There have been others like him and recently I heard of another person who wrote about Hazrat Ayesha in a book which is described as a "soft porn". Obviously this has upset a lot of people. Similar was the case of the recent controversy about the Cartoons of PBUH.
This is a topic with a lot of heated discussions about what is right and not wrong. Emotions are involved and I have written about the need for a balanced decision process. I believe a similar approach needs to be utilized
To make the discussion simple I will remove the biggest emotional highlighter of good or bad. This article is NOT about whether the Muslims are right or wrong in condemning people to death or whether people who make blasphemies are right or wrong in doing it.

Let us imagine a group of people who like ice cream and worship it. They make a law that anybody who insults the ice cream shall be killed. Now there is another group of people who like chocolate and do not like ice cream. Hence they insult the ice cream and the ice cream lovers are very emotionally invested in ice cream and believe that they can only be born again in this world as little frozen pieces of delight if they uphold the pride of the ice cream. At baseline the chocolate lovers and ice cream lovers look to the eternal life with much more eagerness than this life and all of them have a certain death wish/morbid fascination with death. The result as predictable as what is going on right now.

Now the question arises. Who the f*** told the group of people to start believing in ice cream and chocolate. Who the f*** told the people to start having such morbid fascinations. Who the f*** told the people from one group to insult the other one and not be sensitive about it.

Some people believe in freedom of expression. There is no absolute and that is also not an absolute statement. Similarly all freedom would comes with responsibility. If there is groups of people crazy about ice creams and chocolates, don't insult them. How difficult is that? I understand that sometimes there are artistic muses which are very irresponsible in their urgency to say something profound. I guess that is also life experiencing itself but life gives those muses the consequence of that creativity.

Whether it is through the hands of "unreasonable people" who are after their blood for even thinking those thoughts or whether that is through giving the destructive energies free reign of their life is something that has never been in the hands of one individual. It is the right of life. And the life that gives consequences to all things does not mark things as good or bad.

Similarly the people who string or murder people whether through the aid of group consciousness or murder or whether through their individual wants, will get their consequence. It is no wonder that the "Kafir Farangi" is actually leading a much more harmonious life compared to the "enlightened" people of the homeland of Islam. :)

The Secret

2008-10-05T00:15:00.000-07:00

A lot of commotion has been occurring in the new age thought circles about the secret. This is how I understand it. I made this opinion after religiously following Dilbert for several years.

Entropy is going on. That means that all the universe is full of particles that are evolving towards a state which can be understood by the following example. If X be the state of a particle and X+1 is the state produced in it by any one of the million factors impacting that state then the future state of the particle is going to be more chaotic than X or X+1. Every new calculation made by the system for the future will grow more chaotic as the aberrant X will deviate more and more from its original position.

As mentioned in the Heisenberg principle the mere state of awareness/observation/entanglement changes the system being observed. So if a particular observation effects a system to grow more chaotic in the future then it is possible that the future state of affairs can be changed by a thought or a level of entanglement with the system.

I am sure the results that a person desires also have to be translatable in the language of life. Unfortunately life does not understand winning the lottery so no matter how much one can think or entangle or contemplate on winning the lottery it is not very liable to happen. The language of life will probably also not understand the language of money. But what it does understand is that if one wishes for happiness or if one wishes to find an answer about a question or if one wishes for fulfillment or enlightenment the whole universe conspires to bring that around. Usually materials or objects will be used to bring around the end result and the possibilities are endless how a particular wish is granted. The time of the fulfillment are also something that life chooses.

Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

2008-10-04T22:13:00.000-07:00

The more precisely the POSITION is determined,
the less precisely the MOMENTUM is known.

While this is a specific statement concerning two characteristics of a particle, there are many interpretations also which apply this principle to the observer and the observed. It can also be called the observer effect. It is used to describe changes that the act of observing will make on the phenomenon being observed. In psychology it refers to the behavior of anyone being observed changing by the act of the observation.

Position and momentum are two characteristics of a particle that are being used to study it. If we consider the particle to be an analogy of life, then the two characteristics that we can use to study life are through the mind or through the heart (thoughts or feelings).

Neurobiologically both heart and mind are denizens of the brain and their interactions with each other are complex. At a certain level just like a particle can be described as pure momentum or pure mass (the dual theory of light) thus any perception of the mind can be accomplished using entirely reason or entirely feelings. That is a polarized level and in the interest of talking about averages we will consider the middle ground in the dyads of thought-feeling and momentum-mass. In the middle ground of the thought-feeling dyad, one cannot exist without the other. To separate the two probes of sensing is not possible. Primarily "thought" can be used to observe an object based on its height, length and depth but without the "feeling" the object being sensed will remain in a vacuum. The information about an apple will only be complete once I know that it is red and that it promises the same feeling as I had when I ate a similar one.A balance between thought and feeling needs to be struck for me to decide on the observation about that apple.

Human beings cannot be aware of the true state of affairs if they utilize feeling or reason alone. To be aware of the nearest estimate one has to use a blend of thought and feeling. Just like to determine the nature of particle ony postion or only momentum cannot be used. Both have to be used in conjunction and knowing at the same time what the possibility of error is.

We were talking about an apple which happens to be an object of mass. Hence to perceive it fully to ourselves in the two poles of thought and feeling, we might need to perceive it closer to the pole of thought. Similarly if we were attempting to perceive an aesthetic concept or art, it might be useful to perceive it closer to the pole of feeling. The truce that we negotiate in between the extent of thought and extent of feeling is intuition. Just like mathematical formulae can give the probability and extent of error in oberving particles, our souls or whatever the organ of intuition is called, determines the adequacy of our under or over reliance on thought and feeling.

So the question arises whether it is a good idea to observe life and reach a useful conclusion about it with reason or feeling. Is it good to think about life or is it good to believe in it without question. The great instrument of orientation is the thing by which we come up with an answer to this.

"Human beings are feeling animals", some say. Agreed that the primitive brain (amygdala, thatlamus, hypothalamus and pituitary) is entirely feeling. However the telencephalon or the executive brain is also well developed and both parts can override each other depending on the situation. If feeling is the only thing that is used to perceive life and make decisions about it, then we run the risk of turning into suicide bombers. If reason is the only thing that is used to perceive life and make decisions about it, then we run the risk of becoming an equally abhorrent creed of scientists.

A Dream Triptych about Gustafson

2008-10-04T08:32:00.000-07:00

I have had the luck and the fortune to learn from Dr Gustafson. The following dream triptych I believe describes a journey which is defined by the first dream and ends with the last dream.

ACT I:

As a part of residency training in our program we were required to have one hour per week of general psychiatry supervision and one hour per week of psychotherapy supervision. In the third year I had requested Dr Gustafson as a supervisor. The following dream marked that time.

Dream notes:
The dream is set in Silent Hill universe. It was in the film adaptation of silent hill. It was primarily focused on the siren which signaled the transition into the alternate universe. Dr Gustason had started recently writing his book The Great Instrument of Orientation.

Dream:
Throughout the dream, I was exploring a very strange house. I had the feeling constantly that we had to get out before the universe changed into the dark one. With me was Dr Gustafson and there was the siren which scared me and gave a desperate longing and spurred a frantic struggle to get out of the house. My guide was Dr Gustafson and together through various rooms we made our way. We had pistols and we killed several monsters in the process of trying to fight our way out.

Interpretation:
Dealing with psychiatric patients is a tricky business.

ACT II:

Dream notes:
This dream was set in the painting of the last supper. Instead of JC I had a condensed figure in it. By this time I was roughly half way through the supervision with Dr Gustafson. I had already seen him transform his everyday life encounters into words and pen them down. The rigorous discipline which came to him like breathing (inspiration and expiration). I had by this time asked myself the big question of why life was going in and out of silent hill psychosis.
Also of note all pulmonologic diseases are divided into those dealing with inspiration(restrictive) and those deal with expiration(obstructive)
(Thanks to Darkdiscordia)

Dream:
The main figure was that of Jesus who was not Jesus but a condensed figure that I had created by combining a Pulmonology attending that I once met and Dr Gustafson. The Pulmonology attending I described next day to Dr Gustafson as "a show off who was very capable but liked showing off to his students". I was asking the savior about a Pulmonologic illness that I was suffering from and the condensed figure of the savior looked at me and said to me, "the problem with you is not in the expiration but in the inspiration."

Interpretation:
Inspiration can be difficult when the organism is threatened with expiration at every instance.

ACT III:

Dream notes:
The third and the last of the Triptych, I had the night that I received news that Dr Gustafson had published his book. All through the dream instead of seeing that book, I was thinking about Eckhart Tolle and A New Earth.

Dream:
I was going around a table of people who were studiously writing about something. Each had their own book and I was going around trying to make out the book that each person had with them. Suddenly I stopped because I saw a new book by Eckhart Tolle. I knew he had not written a new book after A New Earth. Not wanting to interrupt the person who was working with this new book, I took great pains to glance at the cover about this new book.

Interpretation:
Dr Gustafson writes about the dream "The dream could be taken several different ways, of course: one is that the new author is yourself, which seems to be exciting in finding your own center; another that you are getting pulled into someone else's center."

chess game thoughts-1

2008-09-28T00:20:00.000-07:00

The first thing that I will try doing is try elucidating the basic concept of the chess board story. That would be: Life is controlled by someone else and that someone is playing chess. We are merely pawns in the whole grand scheme of events.

It would be interesting to debate who that someone is. Is that "someone" people like us in our midst who control other people. I doubt it. People who group together to control other groups of people like the CIA controlling the fate of Iraq at one point in time, are only attempting to control the fate of those people. The CIA controlls the fate of Iraqis as much as I control my luck while gambling. If you notice fate and luck used in the previous sentence are both words which are an attempt to describe the future. This future cannot be controlled by people. It is at mercy of.......hmmmm...lets call it.. life. This life happens to be a multidimensional entity. I do not know how many dimensions it has but it certainly has one more dimension to the reality of this world. Imagine a person of two dimensions trying to cross a line on a piece of paper. Impossible. He would have to jump in to the third dimension to make it across the line. Similarly a grand building in three dimensions is reduced to something less grand in two dimensions. It would hardly be fair to say that one knows the building completely by only seeing it in two dimensions. It is a denizen of the three dimensions and it would best be served for the matter of description if it was seen in its dimension.

Following the same example it will be unfair to describe life by remaining in the limitedly perceived dimensions of the reality. Hence it is not possible for people living in this dimension to know the reality of our situation until and unless they make a "jump" into the other dimension. The dimension where life extends out to unseen.

I believe that it is that dimension that is the origins the millions of impulses that govern human souls. These impulses are the raw power which make people do things that they do. What determines which impulse reigns in a person at one time and change the course of history at one time in a particular fashion is unclear. Possibly the hypothesis would call for further dimensions to explain the control of the impulses. These impulses are the Jinnat as we know it.

So I would think that it is not people amongst us who control us. It is those impulses. What and who controls the impulses is another interesting matter which can be discussed at length.

The biggest flaw of the chess board example is the fact that there is an assymetry in it. There is a lop sidedness just in terms of the strata of experience. On one hand there is the soldier experiencing panic. On the other hand there are the leaders experiencing panic. That makes a nice statement about "Ik hee suf main kharay ho gaye mahmood o ayaz":) The third stratum should be the balancing stratum. That balancing stratum is missing. If it can be made in to an abstract stratum which could balance it well.

Other thoughts about numbers of the chess board and chess pieces coming up next. I will also talk about the introduction, development, climax and resolution.

Chess board project

2008-09-28T00:13:00.000-07:00

I recently came across a chess board project. Here it is

Synopsis / Outline:

It starts with a pitch black scene with the sound of PANTING, HEAVY BREATHING, distant BOOMS, FOOTSTEPS frantically hitting a hard but brittle surface. Suddenly there is a huge EXPLOSION somewhere nearby and the whole scene lights up with a thick gray gloom. A US SOLDIER is frantically running alongside a battered wall. Comes to a huge hole in the wall and stops at its edge. Peers out to see where the explosion came from. There is a huge mushroom cloud looming over the buildings of a completely destroyed city. In the haze profiles of: a destroyed WORLD TRADE CENTRE (U.S), the Eifel Tower (Europe), the Badshahi Mosque (Asia), can be made out in the distant background. The soldier looks down from the mushroom cloud and notices two SUICIDE BOMBERs standing in front of the destroyed buildings, backs turned and looking up at the mushroom cloud. The soldier takes in this scene when suddenly one of the suicide bombers looks around cautiously. The soldier ducks back in behind the wall. Breathing heavily and clutching to his standard issued rifle, he closes his eyes to calm himself down. Takes another peek from his hiding place, and notices only one suicide bomber standing where there were two a while back. The suicide bomber is looking around cautiously, ready to blow himself up with the remote in his hand rigged to his bomb jacket. The soldier ducks back and leans against the wall trying to think of what to do. The story cuts to a desert in the scorching heat of the afternoon sun where, under a date tree, a camel, a rather stupid look on its face and a tattoo that reads "M-bile Scud Launcher" hosts AHMEDIN EJAD, bound and gagged with a noose around his neck. While he struggles to break free of his bonds, GEORGE BUSH, standing on the shoulders of EHUD OLMERT, is supporting a UN SOLDIER who is trying to tie the other end of the rope to one of the top branches of the date tree. At the feet of the camel KIM JONG IL is tied up and gagged, while in the background a SADDAM HUSSEIN can be seen hanging to another date tree. The background reveals the ONE EYED PYRAMID at one side of the scenery and a few OIL RIGS scattered all over the desert. While Ahmedin Ejad sweats and struggles, the UN soldier is not making much progress with the rope while also trying to balance on Bush's shoulders. Kim Jong's glasses reflect the whole seen. The soldier gets lucky and manages to get the rope over a branch. The story cuts to a third scene reflecting in the eyes of GENERAL MUSHARRAF. OSAMA BIN LADIN (OBL) gets finished cutting a tree with an axe. CONDOLEEZA RICE and an ENGLISH BULL TERRIER are standing at the base of a very scrawny tree that has Musharraf sitting in. The scenery shows a forest completely destroyed with stumps that hint at the tree's they used to be. Each stump has a plaque on it stating the date of inauguration (independence date) and the name of the tree (name of the country). In the background, over a thick forest wall, the PENTAGON, THE GREAT WALL OF CHINA and the KREMLIN loom over the scenery. On one of the stumps closer to the tree with Musharraf on top, sits HAMID KARZAI, content and gloating to be sitting on a stump of his own. Condoleezza looks up at Musharraf who returns the gaze with a nervous look. The Terrier is barking up the tree. Condoleezza looks meaningfully at Musharraf and then at OBL. OBL smiles a big bearded smile up at Musharraf. Musharraf sweats, looks at Condi and shakes his head frantically. Condi gives him a huge smile and then looks at OBL and nods slowly. The dog barks up the tree. OBL firms his grip on his axe and walks towards the base of the tree. The story cuts back to the US soldier. He feels around on his belt and retrieves a grenade. He looks at it and then looks at the suicide bomber. He allows himself an evil smile, pops the pin and throws the grenade out through the hole in the wall, towards the suicide bomber. The grenade hits the ground and rolls towards the bomber, who turns around and looks at it unsuspectingly. The soldier closes his eyes and ears expecting the explosion on the other side of the wall. Suddenly a finger taps him on his shoulder. He opens his eyes and sees another suicide bomber standing right next to him with his hand on his bomb trigger, smiling an evil smile. The story cuts to the desert where at the top level, The UN soldier holds on to the rope and is trying to tie it properly to the branch. At the second level, Bush gets distracted when he notices that Kim Jong Il has broken free of his bonds. The three man tower loses its balance. The soldier holds onto the rope firmly. Bush grabs onto the soldiers feet in a desperate attempt to stay up. The story cuts to the OBL, who starts hacking at the tree with Musharraf in it. Musharraf gives up his place on the branch. Jumps down from the tree and starts running for his life. The Terrier runs after him at his heal. Condi looks at him smiling, while OBL's axe cuts a huge gash in the side of the tree. He drops his axe and pushes at the tree. Musharraf's profile gets engulfed with an ever growing shadow of a tree. Musharraf stops and turns.

The story hits an "OH F**K!" point across all the scenes (This O F**K scene is a series of realization expressions). The suicide bomber realizes that the thing rolling at his feet is a grenade, O F**K! The US soldier realizes his fate as the second suicide bomber presses the trigger, O F**K! Kim Jong Il looking through his glasses up at the entire scene realizes that Ahemin Ejad has had it, O F**K! Ahmedin Ejad watches the three man tower collapse and the UN soldier fall with the other end of the rope, O F**K! Bush falls towards the pile of camel dung on the ground, O F**K! Musharraf looks up, O F**K!

The story cuts to the first scene. There is a huge EXPLOSION and the camera gets caught in it. The camera tumbles up through the air, debris and forms that hinted at being attached to whole bodies whizz past. The camera continues to tumble through the clouds overhead, and starts to stabilize. Pans out from the clouds to reveal a chess board with wooden pieces on it shaped like the characters of the whole scene, a tiny explosion can be made out on one of the checkers. The scene reveals two men dressed in black suits, ties and shades sitting at opposite at ends of a small park table playing a game of chess, one of them smoking while the other one thinks over his turn. The scene reveals the men sitting in a public park with people going about minding their own business. No one even as much as noticing the two men sitting amidst them… playing chess.

Zardari and Palin

2008-09-24T18:21:00.000-07:00

OMG WTF BBQ!!!!!!!!!!!

How cool is this. If you look at this smile, it leaves one with little to imagine the thoughts going on inside his head. As I said he is a true representation of the majority of Pakistan.
Now was it Yahya Khan who displayed some incontinent behavior due to inebriation at a party. I forget!!!!

PS thank you Bees for the correction:)
Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups.

Pakistan economic classes and drug use

2008-09-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

Any mind altering substance is illegal in Islam and hence Pakistan has banned use of any of those substances. Since the poor and the rich are the least likely to follow the edicts of a religion, these classes of society really do not give two hoots about the religious or legal sanctions. These two classes are more caught up with the concerns of the body and of gratifying them in the present. The middle class has usually defined the normal economic state of a country and as the state's financial situation takes a crunch, so does the middle class. Everybody is polarized. The grays finish and the black and whites emerge. (I am not an economist and there is a good chance that I might be wrong in what I said above.)
In the world of animals if survival is at stake the sympathetic hormones make an organism in to a survival machine. All the processes that are unnecessary are shut off and every process is aimed at fighting or flight. All the cognitive processes also go through a similar process. "Insanity" is distortion of reality. And when a three dimensional thing is tried to be understood in two dimensions (for example gray, white black things are tried to be understood in black and white, i.e poles only) of safe or unsafe, insanity occurs.
A system like an economic system which is failing will polarize itself and it will not be able to understand itself in the two dimensional polarity. The middle class needs to be there in Pakistan. It is the class that helps form an identity of a nation.
Because of stress on the system the middle class is "splitting" (a borderline dynamic which is used under extreme stress perceived or otherwise). Some of it is going to the richness and some of it is going to the poverty.
Since both these classes are not uncomfortable in flipping off religion or law, enforcement of drugs is not possible. It is a failing endeavor that the Pakistan government can take up but it will bring no fruition.
Currently the world seems to be moving in to the direction of regulation. Every thing needs to be regulated and counted and inventoried. This is the factory model. The power of numbers is huge and it is beneficial to lead huge numbers to a certain way of living and delude them. Best sellers are a necessity to the hunger of the numbers. In this climate an anti regulation is arising which will have also shot past its intended goal in its fervor. Drugs are the banner of the anti regulation. The hippie movement has still not lost its charm. And for others hippie probably means a 4 ft tall skinny girl's backside. They are lost in their own smoke and snorts and shots and plunges.

Patience

2008-09-16T07:36:00.000-07:00

Do you have the patience to wait
till the mud settles and the water is clear
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

Lao-Tzu, Tao-te-Ching

VACTERL association

2008-09-15T14:43:00.001-07:00

V- Vertebral anomalies
A- Anal Atresia
C- Cardiovascular anomalies
T- Tracheoesophageal fistula
E-Esophagial Atresia
R- Renal anomalies or Radial anomalies
L- Limb anomalies

This is an association not a syndrome because of a lack of one single pathogenic gene. PubMed as of 9/15/08 does not give any psychological sequelae to this association. That is odd, given the neuroectodermal involvement as evidenced by the vertebral anomalies.
One paper found that IQ did not tend to be different from any other children hence the need to address individual anomalies early on is essential. Like any other chronic disease the earlier any barriers to development are removed the more "normal" the development.
Here is a network for family and children with VACTERL .
I have seen one child with this syndrome with anger issues. I did not have the opportunity to engage in a psychiatric interview though so I cannot delineate the etiology of the anger.

More research needed. :)

Does faith have to be masochistic?

2008-09-14T14:39:00.000-07:00

Here is a story about a friend of mine. He was a person who grew up in love with Air Force. He decided to make it in to his identity while growing up. He used to wear the sunglasses because pilots used to wear them. He made secret passwords with his friends so that when as a pilot he would be captured he would be able to talk in code words. He had named his bicycle F16. As he reached his teenage years every endeavor was a "mission". Describing a mission was always "debriefing". At night when he roamed around his house in dark so as not to wake any body, it was a "stealth mission". And when he meant to give respect to friends he would call them sir. If you have not already guessed, his growing environment was conducive to this kind of a love affair. His father was in the air force and he had grown around fighter jets and fighter pilots. Freud would have had interesting things to say about fighter planes, the thrill of speed and the wish to be better than his father.

Anyways this person could not make it in to Air force. He did not take his failure well. So for the first time he was thwarted in getting what he truly wanted. Some thing that would determine his cognitive make up for ever after. He had never failed in anything before in his life. One way or the other he had always been on top of his class in academics or sports. He was the person with the flawless morality and an unshakable loyalty. But yes there was a shadow too. And as he grew so did his shadow. The shadow was locked up in a closet and hidden from all. From time to time he would feel guilty about the presence of the shadow and as a reaction to it he would go back to his ideals with a zest. The more time he spent as his shadow, the bigger was his drive towards his ideals. This oscillation defines the very fundamental and extreme positions in any person's life. All that needs to be ascertained is the coordinates of these positions and the motion becomes clear. The ideal would tend to carry the exact opposite traits of what the shadow would carry.

If the shadow had in it a certain under confidence about his abilities, then the ideal would be the fighter pilot bravado. If the ideal was the retention of all memories so as to maintain one's coordinates in the uncharted space of life's projections, then the shadow was complete dissolution and lack of concern over anything linked to the definition of one's personality. He did not drink or use other mind altering substances to loose that definition of his personality. He also did not give heed to reckless passions that arose in him. But what he did was make his ideal in to maintaining a link with his person and yet refuting it altogether. He found the path to salvation through striving to attain his ideal through self abnegation. Freud would certainly find these masochistic super ego-ic tendencies aimed at his ego interesting. Freud would have also drawn some parallels to these and the masochistic tendencies targeted towards his father and then sublimated in to emulation. Both have the fear of standing up as an independent individual and facing one's destiny based on one's strengths and weaknesses. Masochism allays the fear of being killed and exterminated by a stronger force. This is we note is the classic religious position. The position of Christ and the cross and the position of a sinner asking for mercy from the Lord because he hath sinned. Some people flail themselves in guilt and others get up in the middle of the night in winters to do ablution with cold water. It is the same person who believes that the most valuable prayer times are the prayer timings of a Summer's Asr and Winter's Fajr.

Returning back to our protagonist, his concept of love was finding a woman who was made for him. He would find himself by completely denying himself for her sake and she would find herself completely denying herself for his sake. Thus the two halves would have been complete. "Supposedly", and for the sake of discussion let us suppose that to be true, he did find someone like this. I did not know how happy he was but when the question of marriage came up, both him and the lady were reluctant. The reluctance was based upon istikharas. Multiple people had engaged in this fortune telling event and had determined that this was not going to be a propitious arrangement for both of them. The heavens was not going to be with this union. He was upset about this but did not have it in his power to go for what he wanted.

He performed the Hajj and during that had a very moving experience. He also did an Istikhara which re iterated the same concept as before. Since all this journey was filled with miraculous things making him believe that God was giving him a message. He was convinced of the irrefutability of the test that God had put him in to. He decided not to have anything to do with the lady he was associating himself with. Instead he asked his parents to search for a suitable match for him. After a girl was found who met all the criteria of a checklist, he was engaged to be married. He is now awaiting his marriage with a contended heart because he has been one of the wise people who hearken to God's message and abandon their willfulness. He is a little uncomfortable about the fact that his first wedding night will be sex after a brief introduction. But this is how it used to happen with our parents also. A great many people have gone through this with successful marriages, why could he also not be one of them.

Freud would have given this particular gentleman a lot to think about. I do not know whether Freud would have been right or not. New age thinking or Zen-ism would have thought this person is in sync with his inner voice. I do not know whether that would have been an accurate assesment. But I do know this that life will continue to go on. He took this road and he will face certain gifts that he has chosen for himself. He will be deprived of some because he has chosen this for himself. But regardless, this person, my dear childhood friend will be doomed if ever guilt enters in his mind again.

I am ofcourse willing to take bets on the matter whether he will feel guilty about this or not.

Joker

2008-09-14T14:12:00.001-07:00

This is the gist of Joker when he speaks to Harvey Dent.

clipped from www.imdb.com

Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, when I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you know that I'm telling the truth.

Three cheers for Pakistan

2008-09-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

Democracy has finally won the day in Pakistan. Democracy is government for the people by the people. A leader of a nation is the truest representative of a country. That is the best that democracy can do and that is the noblest of the things to be able to achieve.
Finally Pakistan has a leader which is truly a representation of the people. Ethics, morals, principles are all a true reflection of Pakistan.
In the past there was always a dysfunction. The leaders wanted to do things that the common public never wanted. Quaid-e-Azam started all this. But now there is a hope for the future. We will surely get as a nation what we truly deserve. No dysfunctional high browed leader can block our way to fulfilling our destiny. When the horse and the horse man work together they move like the wind.
The drama starts now. Grab a seat and grab something to entertain yourself. Please pass the popcorns. Things are about to get very interesting.

Tamak Toian around Solon-3

2008-08-24T17:51:00.000-07:00

This is Bobbers Grill near North Liberty. I thought the frog concept was very neat. Mr Frog showing his muscles. As you can guess this is a bar, but they serve a good cheese burger and chicken strips with fries. Time to go is near evening. There is a beach and a place to launch your boat in, if you have one. No rentals for boats apparently.

The female bathroom!!!!
So many RVs there. They were living here it seems semi permanently. Children playing around, older people sitting around talking or killing time. No hassle about anything. I was unfortunately reminded of yeast infections that happen due to the hygienic conditions here or the scabies and the romantic wondering was cut short.

This is the view from Bobbers. After the grass is the beach. Did not see many people there but I guess it is there. There is a car show there on Sep 13th. Will cover that in a blog.
Oh and once again. Evening would be a better time to go to Bobbers.

All the rivers of psychodynamic therapy combine

2008-08-19T18:13:00.000-07:00

I hold to the belief of all therapy having one common theme to it. There is one expectation from therapy and that is too work. And sometimes not to work but do the least bit of damage. To explain all the intricate manifestation of human behavior, all theories come fairly close to each other. Yes they differ also on some key elements but then again if a therapist cannot practice being all inclusive, he or she runs the danger of trying to see everything in the world as all squares or as all circles.
The discussion of Beck about modes of cognition which exist in our minds and how they become activated through cognitive reactivity brings back some memories of archetypes that Jung talks about.
My psychotherapy supervisor, who i just started with believes in thinking in psycho dynamic terms but making plans keeping in mind behavioral or interpersonal principles. I found his approach as somewhat unique. He believes that initially the problem needs to clarified. One should be clear whether one is dealing with problem of libidinal drives, problem of function of the ego (like reality testing, impulse control etc), problem with how the person perceives the world around it or how the person recognizes itself. By this he is combining all the schools of psycho dynamics and giving each of them a place to help formulate each case.
The four schools broadly being drive theory, self psychology, object relations and ego psychology.

I think every good therapist tries to unite all these things in the mind and clinical practice. It is informative trying to see what every one's picture of unity looks like.

My previous psychotherapy supervisor who is a man held in awe by many including myself, was a minimalist. He was the king of brevity. Actually still is. He saw all therapy and condensed it into the very basic rudimentary dynamic. On those basic framework of dynamics he would plan the clinical dance to take some very interesting forms.

Pervaiz Musharaf in my blog again

2008-08-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

So Mr Musharaf is gone. It is something like this. So many people had wanted this to happen for so long now that they had begun to live with this. Unfortunately this wish had taken up a life of its own. Now that it has come to pass, there is a vacuum in it's wake. So he is gone. Happy? But why? Sure reasons can be made. Some good ones also but is there any reason to be happy over the fate of one individual when the whole country is going downhill anyways.
I present to you the cricket match.
Pakistan vs India. Pakistan batting, chasing 150 which India made. Last over and 40 runs to make. No way that the match is going to be won. They continue playing anyways. Last ball 36 runs to make and on the last ball the batsman hits a six. What is the point. Well there is some point but not to the purpose of the game. The point is for several other things but it will not make a difference to the result of the game.
Mr Musharaf tata. It was an excellent gesture to be gone. Thank you.
Mr robbers-who-are-left-to-gloat welcome. It is an excellent gesture to have come. The country is now yours.
How long will it take Pakistan to become Afghansitan. Iran fell down to the islamic revolution. Everyplace falls to the islamic revolution. Now Pakistan!
I should learn the tune of the national anthem of Afghanistan now.

Pakistan and ADHD

2008-08-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

I was trying to research ADHD in Pakistan today and came across this article from J Pak Med Assoc. 2003 Sep;53(9):441-3

Qureshi A, Thaver D.Aga Khan University Hospital, Karachi.

Ok so ADHD exists in Pakistan. Now what is the treatment for it. Primarily would be the use of analeptics. If one class of analeptics is not effective the medication can be switched to the other class and ~90% children respond. One class being the Methylphenidate products like Ritalin and the long acting methylphenidate products and methylated compounds of methylphenidate. The other class is the amphetamine salts like dextroamphetamine and the mixture of the two enantiomers of the dextroamphetamine (Adderall, Vyvanse, Dexedrine). In Pakistan only the MPH compounds are available.

I found Ritalin at an online pharmacy. 10 mg tablets. The price is Rs 4.7 for 10mg. It is certainly not steep. A 40kg child would be taking roughly 1mg/kg/dose as the high end would end up spending ~Rs 18. If this dose is taken two to three times a day the cost increases up to 18x3=54. If this is not given on days off from school, the child will take it ~20 days. So Rs 1080 for an entire month.

Now the question is what is the other option besides Ritalin. Nothing. I have not been able to find Amphetamine salts. Second line medications like Alpha 2 agonists (Guanfacine and Clonidine) which are also used as blood pressure medications are also not available.

Bupropion is available. This also a second to third line agent. 75 mg tablet costs Rs 10. It is usually needed in doses of 150mg-300mg and everyday medication will make it a cost of anywhere from Rs 600-Rs 1200 per month.

Atomoxetine is not available. That would also be a second to third line agent. Especially useful in children who cannot withstand analeptics.

Then there is the tricyclics, which are available but that would be third line agents and not the best medications for a hyperactive child. Side effect profile unfavorable.

pervez musharraf and the children of pakistan

2008-08-02T19:32:00.000-07:00

I was talking to an 11 year old girl who is visiting us currently from Pakistan. I was asking her what she wants to be when she grows up. She replied, that she wanted to be a doctor. I kidded with her and said, "Don't you want to become a lawyer." She looked at me and asked me why. I said , "Well than you can become the prime minister of Pakistan one day. An overwhelming number of leaders of countries happen to have legal training. Well that is what I think, anyways.
As soon as I had suggested the prime minister position to her, a shocked expression passed her face and she exclaimed, "But I do not want to go in to the army."
For a minute I thought she was joking but then I realized that all through her childhood she had seen Dear President Pervez Musharraf at the head of the country and she had concluded that only army got to run affairs in a country.
Food for thought. Interesting what the new generation in Pakistan assumes as normal state of affairs?

Iphone and Netter

2008-07-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

Netter has made some excellent products available. Initially there was the Anatomy flash cards.
Here is the video from the key note speech.
Since then another very nifty little app that has come for the iphone is the Netter's neuroscience flash cards. Check them out in itunes.
Their is functionality to zoom which might be native to the OS. This is an ideal tool for psychiatrists who are preparing for boards and for eager enthusiasts who are studying neuroscience. You correlate it with the picture and the function is difficult to forget. Ofcourse $40 is a little pricey. Residents get the book money ready.

Time for compassion

2008-07-30T17:12:00.000-07:00

Today I was speaking to a friend who is working in internal medicine in an ER. While I was talking to him, he got a phone call asking him to consult on a lady who had arrived in the ER and refusing to leave and wanting to be admitted. He is still in residency training and I asked him what he was going to do. He said that it was simple. He would order the basic blood tests and then tell the lady that she can certainly stay in the hospital if she was willing to pay a $1000, because no insurance would cover her medical bill without a valid indication. And I asked him what will happen then. He laughed and said, "the same thing that always happens, she will leave."
By now I was extremely interested and asked him whether he would have solved the problem she came to the ER with. He replied that she had no problem. The blood work will have indicated no problem. There was no reason why she needed to be in the hospital. She was healthy. She would be taking the bed of a person who genuinely needed to be admitted.
I persisted, saying there is a reason why she wants to come in to the hospital. He agreed and said "That is not my concern. I am not a psychiatrist."
By now I was playing the devil's advocate. "What if she feels unsafe in her home and is coming to seek help but is not telling the real truth because she is frightened of the psychiatric ward." He replied, "It still is her problem, not mine. If I started conducting these voodoo hunts for crazies, there would be people who would die of heart attacks."
He had to go and attend to the patient. I let him go.
I was later thinking about our conversation. There are many things that would have been different in an ideal world. Money would not come in to play when basic human rights were concerned. I believe access to reasonable health care a basic human right. Mental health problems would be as important as physical ailments. A person would have the luxury of time to discharge his or her's professional duties. Work would be a joy rather than a burden.
Doctors even though adhere to a high code of ethics have been trampled by an unknown fear. The fear of lack of time, the fear of lack of sleep, the fear of lack of performance, the fear of lack of money, the fear of seeing themselves as a failure who never could amount to anything despite their brains and hard work that they put in to becoming a doctor while their class fellows enjoyed themselves and dallied their time away.
When you reach the top of the pyramid, you are not the same man. The journey changes you.
One of the basic things that comes with experience is the ability to be patient with a patient (who is called a patient for a reason). Since one never knows what life can throw out, it is of the utmost importance to be well grounded in the present and not let fears get in the way. When a day is started, there is every potential that I might be jumping off a plane by night fall with a parachute strapped on my back and there is every potential that I might be dead by night. Regardless of the potentials, one thing is certain that I have control over. I can enjoy and accept every minute of life as a gift.

The kiss

2008-07-27T18:15:00.000-07:00

I came across this poem. It is called the kiss and it is by Ulick O'Connor. Apparently Aer Lingus also has it on the back of their seats. So I did a little research to find the complete poem. It is marvelous. The first part much more so than the second part. When I read the entire poem a slight disequilibrium results and in that see saw motion one tends to forget for a bit the brilliance of the first part.
Here is the link that I found it at

Here is another beautiful article about it

Here is the poem.

THE KISS

She said to me

"Kiss me specially",

And with her lips on mine

Traced a design

To show the way

Bees on a drowsy day

Suck honey from fuchsia.

How could I be so sure

That the artificer who spun

The golden honeycomb

For her at Erice,

The goddess in exile

Could ever have gleaned

What I found

When I leaned

To that command.

This is one of those poems which paints its own picture. A blank canvas is all that is required. The reader who is the blankest will feel the most vivid colors.

String sign

2008-07-24T17:39:00.001-07:00

Today found out about a new sign for delerium. It is called the string
sign. The physician stretches an imaginary string in front of the
patient and asks him it's color. The person with delerium names a
color. I guess it focuses on the visuospatial deficits of the
delerium. Though color description is not a visuospatial defecit. So
the specificity of the test should be low. There is also the risk of
offending a person who is not delerious. The role of the doctor is not
of a trickster trying to trick a patient into admitting his deficit
but of an empathic indivual who allies with the defences of the
patient in mantaining his self esteem. Delerium is associated with
increased mortality and during that time the last thing a patient
needs is a doctor trying to do a string sign.

north shore trial lake macbride-1

2008-06-29T17:34:00.000-07:00

I do not know if its easy to see it.. on the sign it says "My blue heaven farm". I liked the sign quite a lot.I wonder why it says Blue heaven. Is it a hint at sadness. It gives heaven a color. The road next to it is dirty,difficult to get to in the best of the weathers. Snows would be terrible for this road. There is a structure visible in the background. Nothing spectacular. So I guess the heaven is not exactly in appearances here but what this person should be feeling. All very fine but this is the disturbing thing. "My" in the my blue heaven farm speaks of a sense of pride. And why is the sign facing outwards. It almost is saying "I accomplished this..I achieved this happiness". A little show off'ish. And there is that image that comes to mind of a hard working person who is toiling away with the hope and dream of a blue heaven farm that will be his one day. Anyways I thought that this was a good pic.

Thought I would add this. This is the shahtoot..that I have spent many a long afternoon picking and eating. There is a certain mindlessness that is present in the animal action of find, pick and eat. One can go long doing that sort of a thing, the animal action, I mean. Almost a decerebrate kind of a thing. The key is to find one, pick one and know that one has eaten one berry. Then one is above the thoughts rather than being below the thought process as in the decerebrate behaviors.

Now the mystery in this picture was the round leaves on the pond. Seeing a frog on them would have been neat.Something dissapeared in the water with a splash when i came close. It might have been a frog. Anyways, these leaves seem to be floating on the lake. They do not seem to attached to anything in the water. These leaves do not belong to any plants on the edge of the lake. Now where did they come from.

This was a pretty disgust inspiring place. A channel to drain the excess. I guess this is what channels to drain excess things in life look like. I bet intestines look like this.